How To Be a Spy, Part I

In today's Spy Lesson, we'll be learning how to dampen an S.T.R.-Elektronik HT2003 Intercom's AC Buzzer to an acceptable volume level.

If you, like the Spy Master, like sleeping, and you, again like the SM, hate people waking you up with obnoxious bells, use this handy tip to increase your Spy-sleep by 30%. That means 30% more rest for nocturnal spying activities!


"Eunuchize" your HT2003's AC Buzzer

1. Identify Unit
   The HT2003 intercom system is made by S.T.R.-Electronik. The Spy Master's Learning Unit is a brown, two-piece intercom with the following basic parts:
   
   • the intercom base, attached to wall, with two buttons:
     • a 'key' button on the left,
     • and a 'red block' button on the right
   • a telephone-like receiver, attached via a curly telephone-like cord


2. Open Unit
   Remove the receiver and let it down to the floor. This will open the circuit to the main board, so this might cause unexpected problems, such as blocking other people's calls. However, since most of your spy-activities will occur late at night, this shouldn't be too much of a problem. Just be aware that if you shock yourself and scream out in pain, passersby in the street may hear it over the loudspeaker and your cover will be blown. (1)
   
   Pry off the outer cover of the unit by inserting a screwdriver in the upper-right and upper-left hand corners and depressing the internal plastic hooks holding the cover on. Remove the faceplate by pulling down from the top -- the bottom hooks will disengage automatically this way.


3. Find the AC Buzzer inside
   Here's a schematic, which will show you what you're looking at now. You want to find the AC Buzzer, which is a drum with a metal plate connected to it. The metal plate will overhang the front or top of the drum, which it collides with, making that buzzing noise. That's the thing you need to dampen.
   
   The AC Buzzer might be labeled "AC12V." It will have two pronged-foot contacts on the bottom and one feeder wire running to each foot. If you remove the whole panel from the wall (via the corner screws), you'll see that you can remove the AC Buzzer by unscrewing the securing screw on the reverse of the wall plate.


4. Eunuch-ize
   Three methods are acceptable. The first is the most drastic and will render the device impotent. The second solution is to dampen the sound. The third solution is replacement.
   
   • Kill the circuit by either:
     
     1. removing one or both of the feeder wires. Insulate contacts with electrical tap and then fasten them separately to the back of the plate. Cautious spies try to avoid breaking anything they don't have to.
        
     2. removing the AC Buzzer. Unscrew the fastening screw on the back of the wall plate and disconnect the contacts. Pack-Rat and Klepto spies will keep the AC Buzzer around for later use.
        
     3. or cutting the wires. This is the Bad-Ass spy thing to do, as it involves wire-cutters and that oh-so-cool "click" of the wire being neutered. Very bad-ass, indeed.
   • Dampen the AC Buzzer with a bobby pin (or a paper clip). Run the bobby pin across the contact plate on the AC Buzzer, so that the bobby pin lies flat against the drum, but also has one arm in front of the plate, as well. This will prevent the plate from bouncing up and down and "clacking." The plate will move a little, and you should get a distinct, but quiet, buzzing noise from now on.
   • Replace the buzzer with something else. This is the Prankster spy's favorite way to go. The AC Buzzer works off of a 12-volt line, so be sure to put another 12-volt noisemaker in there.


5. Reconstruction
   Put the whole thing back together. A good spy always has a lookout on the street to test the newly neutered buzzer. Wipe down everything to make sure you leave no fingerprints. Hop into your spy-helicopter on the roof, and get the heck outta dodge.

Mission accomplished. Good work, cadet. Take the rest of the day off.



---------Endnote---------
1. Everybody knows real spies don't cry out in pain.