Projects of a (Blitheringly) Academic Nature

But First...

The following things in my neighborhood are wonderful:

• The Tooth Factory: I discovered this building on Friday afternoon, while walking home from classes. Considering that I have been living in this neighborhood for two months, I really have no excuse for being ignorant of this particular business.(1) The cool fall air was punctuated by the roar of buses, padding of pedestrians, and grinding whiiiiiir of technicians forming fake teeth in fake palates. It might be impossible to convey in words just how giddy I feel knowing that people are manufacturing dentures within spitting distance of my apartment, but for the visual component, just think of me sporting a big, goofy grin and fidgeting uncontrollably with childish excitement.


• Fall Leaves in the Hain: I went up to the gorgeous little town of Coburg in early October, and the thing that most impressed me was the overwhelming Fall foliage. Bamberg is more than 1000 years young, which means that most of the trees in the town center were cleared out about 1000 years ago. Coburg, on the other hand, is still a young city -- young enough for the German Romantic movement, and an early environmental mentality (2), to have preserved large trees throughout the city. This means that Coburg is, relatively speaking, thickly forested. Three weeks ago, the leaves were already fantastic. Ten days ago, the leaves in the Hain picked up the pace. Now they, too, are decked in the fantastic yellows, reds, and oranges of Fall. The spectacular sight of a yellow tunnel of leaves slowly decaying, one falling shingle at a time, is an inspiring sight on a warm Sunday afternoon.


• NB3 is Closed: I had no idea that this building was anything other than a private residence. In fact, I only found out about it last night, when some locals pointed it out. Located just over the bridge (again, mere footsteps from my apartment) is a swingers' club, known locally as NB3(3). Among longer-term residents, this building is mildly (in)famous. Even better, last night there was a hand-written sign over the buzzer which proclaimed that "NB3 is closed due to illness and will remain closed indefinitely."(4)

Ladies and Gentlemen, please turn your attention to the Center Ring, where you will see several clowns pack themselves into a ridiculously small lion.

I want to engage in the following academic projects. Input, suggestions on background material, and co-authors/co-conspirators are welcome to contact me via email.

• Markets: Anthropological dynamics of a modern "traditional" market in Europe, with possible emphases on:
  
  1. Transaction Dynamics (social/anthropological/economic)
  2. Linguistics: Code-switching (regional "dialects" -> national standard "dialect" -> foreign languages), transaction terminology and semantics
  3. Commodities: Point of origin, point of sale, transportation, price, (relative?/absolute?) consumption rates, other market dynamics
  
  


• Economics: Socially-regulated market economics, emphasizing:
  
  1. Market economics in limited/regulated markets
  2. Social regulations and constraints on production and consumption (environmental/employment/human rights/etc.)
  3. Risk management in industry and nations (maximizing service returns in risk-based industries by averaging potential liabilities across mega-subscriptions)
  4. Socialization/regulation of human services to maximize service and reduce individual/catastrophic costs

Please email your input/help/offers of grant money.(4)



------------------------ End Notes --------------------------------
(1) Normally I come home from a different direction, but I had just taken the bus back from the Feki, and the convenient way home just happened to take me past the building, which would usually be on the other side of the street.
(2) This is the same early environmental consciousness that eventually lead to the establishment of Central Park. A generally upper-class (and more-than-a-little-condescending) opinion contended that exposure to nature helped ease the plight of the poor, who would be bettered (or at least pacified) by the "wholesome" and "nuturing" effects of trees, ponds, and big open meadows.
(3) Refers to the address. Not going to be more specific because:

1. Although it seems to be something of an open local secret, I am still not going to betray this tacit (yet, admittedly, somewhat silly) trust, and
2. I don't want You People prowling my neighborhood for sex clubs -- I have to live here, too.

(3) Rough translation from memory. I'll post the original at some time in the future, for comedy purposes. Email me if you simply must have an accurate original and/or translation.
(4) I haven't been getting feedback from this website. Does this mean that you, Gentle Reader, are not reading gently? Are You not writing, either gently or from deep, passionate wells of rage? Or are Your emails adrift somewhere cyberspace, unanswered?