Breached Unity

2007-10-27T22:10:00.001+02:00

Testing mobile blogging facility. Tonight Heather and I are working the cemetery tours down in C. Pictures soon.

The Drought

2007-10-12T20:42:00.000+02:00

It's an abrubt and incongruous transition. I left Kampala more than a month ago. Now it's flooded in Gulu, and here I am in the middle of a drought. Today's pictures available here; Monday's here.

I've been moving the column on the right down to the water line each Friday for the last three weeks. I only started taking pictures this Monday (8 Oct.), however. You can (hopefully) see the drop over the last 5 days -- just look at the line of oyster shells.

This is the lowest the lake has been in my lifetime. During the last big drought in 2002, the water line was some 10 feet to the left (towards the rocks) of where it is now.

Jokingly, I said:

2007-08-14T11:44:00.000+02:00

Me: I'm a nice guy. That's what it says on my tombstone.
Denise: Not "I was a nice guy?"
Me: I'm not dead yet.

I picked up my chair and retreated from the legion of pre-schoolers

2007-08-11T13:01:00.001+02:00

After a ten-day tour of Gulu (during which I saw a lot of my hotel room and various bars in Gulu), I'm back in Kampala.

While in Gulu, we took an overnight trip to Opit, one of the displaced camps south of Gulu town. It was a pretty depressing expanse of huts, crowded with people trying to survive, but it's better there now than I've heard about in the past. People were moving around the camp, going to nearby gardens, buying and selling things. The school was filled, and everybody seemed to have firewood.

From my diary:

Breakfast at Eric's [house]. Nobody saved me any coffee[, but that's what I get for sleeping in]. We spent the morning waiting for the roads to dry out from the rains during the night. I sat on the porch, watching the world go by, watching the clouds [billow up to the east, pile up on top of each other and crowd away to the south], and being watched in turn by the roving bands of [Acholi] children.

A group gathered around and asked me questions in Luo. I asked them questions in English and Luganda. That went nowhere, but they didn't leave. So I taught them how to make various noises, increasingly vulgar ones. I whistled, popped my cheek, made the water-dripping-from-the-faucet noise by flicking my cheek, and we made faces at each other. [I crossed my eyes and did my wall-eye. They rolled their eyes back in their heads and made pig-noses back at me.] Things [cooled off] with the tongue-clicking though. So I tried to make armpit [farts].

[For the first time in years,] I couldn't make any noise. Thinking this was because my armpit was too dry, I spat on my hand and tried again. Still nothing; I gave up. But then[, in horror,] I realized that this was less a give-and-take cultural exchange of rude noises than a game of follow-the-Muno.

Suddenly I was faced with sixteen young Acholi children spitting in their hands, rubbing them in their armpits, and making chicken-dance motions with their arms. [Feeling] incredibly exposed [there on the porch, on the street, in front of everyone, and confronted with this monstrous mimicry of what I had considered one of my erstwhile talents], I [considered being] around when one of [their] parents or elders walked by. I picked up my chair and retreated from the legion of pre-schoolers pantomiming their silent armpit farts, back into the courtyard. "Bye, Muno!" they called, still spitting into their hands and flapping their arms.

Rafting the Nile

2007-07-29T21:39:00.000+02:00

Rafting the Nile river is one of the coolest things I've ever done in my whole life. Holy crap, that was amazing.

A trip taken weeks ago

2007-07-27T14:50:00.000+02:00

Pictures! I suppose I've been promising them for long enough...

Please note the format change.* This batch of pictures has been put on another blog. If you subscribe to my RSS feed, I suggest you go there to subscribe to that feed, as well. And please let me know whether you like this format, find it easier to use, or if this is a crummy idea.
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Excerpts from my journal and remarks about the pictures.

[On Saturday] we went biking with Emily to the clinic where she works, Goli-goli. The sky was blue[, incredibly azure and studded with large, friendly clouds], the dirt road was orange, and the fields were solid green.... I got into a race with a boda-boda [driver]. He had a passenger and still beat me. -pp. 49-50

She seemed to appear from the very darkness itself, a being magically unfolded from the shadows of the house.... With blurred vision she came into the room with only the vaguest sense of who we were, but she immediately recognized Ron. [...] She went to him and gave him an excited embrace.... After greeting him, she turned her frail form to us, first reaching around Denise, then engulfing me in her arachnid grip. A full 18" shorter than me, she still reached one arm over my shoulder. In that embrace I could feel a worn but still able strength and sense the physical power behind her loose skin. -pp. 29-30

Three of Mze's sons. Mze literally means "Sir;" it's an honorific attributed to his status as the oldest living male born into the clan. He looks frail, standing in the doorway with his canes, but he's as strong as an ox.

Sipi falls spills from the mile-high plateau on the north-east face of Mt. Elgon in southeastern Uganda.

North of Sipi Mt. Elgon flattens down rapidly to the great plains of Kapchorwa, then the deserts of Moroto and Kotido in Karamoja. The Karamojong (the people of this area) have a fearsome reputation across the country. It's a wild place, Uganda's eastern frontier, where cattle raids still claim dozens of lives every year and most men tote around AK47s. But from here, it's just peaceful, green grazing land.

Nestled up against the base of Mt. Elgon, Mbale is a sleepy, dusty town near the Kenyan border. With the broad-shouldered mountain in the background, Mbale's covered walkways and broad streets seem overshadowed. The town is dominated by a single hill, crowned with a roundabout and a clock tower. A typical street in Mbale. (We ate at an Indian restaurant in the last building on the left, at the top of the street.)

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*This blog is text-only. I admit that it's proving a chore to try to link pictures in, but it's the only way to keep the page manageable for low-bandwidth connections.

Just Now, On the Phone with Jeffrey Sachs

2007-07-26T16:06:00.000+02:00

Yesterday, I got an email from an old friend who works at SIRIUS Satellite Radio, asking if I'd throw in an opinion on Jeffrey Sachs' pilot show, The Power of One, for the station.

I've been a fan of Sachs' since I read his book, The End of Poverty, about a year ago. I think his advocacy of the Millenium Development Goals and his drive to wipe out the most extreme forms of poverty are fantastic and necessary ideas.

On the show, I asked if Sachs could "separate so-called 'good' aid from 'bad aid'? How do you [Sachs] respond to criticisms of people like [the Ugandan journalist] Andrew Mwenda, who argue that any form of international aid damages African socities?"1

Sachs responded rather forcefully that aid to rural Africa is a good and necessary thing. There's no reason to hold off on malaria medications and mosquito nets that will help rural Africans, certainly, and the more ARVs we can distribute in sub-Saharan Africa, the better. And I agree.

But perhaps where we don't see eye-to-eye on this issue is the question of delivery mechanisms. I can't agree that aid is unquestionably good in all situations. Certainly, aid programs can be hijacked, misused, or poorly designed, and thus exacerbate political, ethnic, social, or economic distinctions in societies. Sachs' guest seemed to do a wonderful job of bypassing some of these issues by directly targeting a single, easily accessible village in Senegal for a direct injection of material aid. I think that method certainly has its advantages. But that approach has limited applications.

Certainly, large scale projects, like promoting HIV/AIDS education here in sub-Saharan Africa, or the delivery of the millions of mosquito nets that will be needed in the next few years, or even debt forgiveness requires far more resources than can be mustered by school children in New York City. The largest and most complicated development attempts have to be channeled through organizations and governments on the ground in the Third World. And it is in those situations that aid tends to distort African societies by focusing politicians on their relationships with donor countries and NGOs, allowing them to make trade-offs in the names of their constituents. It's the largest programs that breed the most obvious corruption.

And this is where Mwenda certainly has a point, although I don't agree with him that no aid is better than any aid. Instead, how do we handle aid so that we avoid giving people fish rather than teaching them to use fishing poles? How can we direct the flow of aid so that it doesn't eddy into the pockets of bureaucrats, but flows to the appropriate institutions? This issue is overlooked far too often in developed countries, but it's a fact of life here. (For instance, the rumors in Kampala are that a large government cache of ARVs were allowed to expire, simply because the money required to distribute them across the country was siphoned into the private accounts of various, unnamed officials.)

Where Mwenda and other critics of the international donor community are leading us, I think, is not really to a "no-aid" system, but to a "smart-aid" system, where the distorting political, economic, and social effects of aid are openly discussed and mitigated wherever possible. This can be done the way Sachs' guest did: target a small, discernible problem -- a well-cover for a village, a bore-hole, malaria medicine for 12 months, plowing equipment for an over-farmed area. Sachs himself argues in his book that changing the structure of aid to emphasize local demand for programs and then putting local aid organizations in charge helps to alleviate these problems. And that's probably true.

But not all aid projects can be pursued at such a small scale. Educational programs, especially, benefit in concrete ways from expanded mandates and expanded budgets. But those same enhancements often inflate or exacerbate structural, social, or political schisms related to, or in the worst cases actually caused by, those programs. Donors and donor nations need to be transparent in assessing the potential for misuse of donor funds, reinforcing hierarchical or autocratic tendencies inherent in these programs, and the exploitation of the poor or politically isolated that can occur in such situations.

Donors need to start walking the line of necessity, of only doing as much "good" as is absolutely required, then allowing indigenous actors to take the lead. Help people learn to fight their own battles.

Programs should to be tailored to fit the exact needs of their target group. Trimming the fat on aid programs will help reduce the amount of corruption associated with donations by assuring that the program's primary goals are met first. Grandiose, complicated schemes to reduce poverty or alleviate inequalities across broad areas are noble, but ultimately too unwieldy for even developed nations to pursue adequately and cleanly. Stick to the basics, whenever possible.

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I want to thank SIRIUS Satellite Radio for allowing me to talk to Jeffrey Sachs by calling me, thus insulating me from crippling airtime charges on my Uganda mobile.
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Edited at 11:00am EST. Added note thanking SIRIUS and link to Sirius's website. Also added name of Jeff Sachs' show.
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1. My apologies to you, Andrew; I think I'm overstating your position here, slightly.

Weekly Recap

2007-07-15T16:50:00.000+02:00

Posting again so soon may spoil you, but I'm running that risk.

It's been a slow week here in Kampala. On Monday, we cranked into the week with the strongest of intentions and a positive outlook on scanning those 200,000 files. We did scan over 400 discreet images in the last week, a number that I'm currently comfortable with. Plus, on Friday I went in and pre-screened several issues of our current journal; those should be faster to scan tomorrow morning.

We had dinner with a delightful Kiwi and his wife (Finnish, likewise delightful) and their German friend (also delightful) who had wonderful things to tell us about Ugandan agriculture and the creeping Chinese presence here. China has big money invested in Sudan (especially southern Sudan, where most of the oil is), and they've only just started taking an interest in Uganda. Some people, myself included, think this might mean an oil pipeline through Juba, down to Gulu and then on to Mombasa. There are other likely routes, but an increased Chinese presence here speaks to stronger ties economically. Our Kiwi friend told us that their main short-term interest will be food, which is cheaper to produce here. And there's rumors that the Chinese are behind the massive lays of fiber-optic cable here in the city. No one knows whether it's just Chinese money, or there's some other reason behind their involvement. I, for one, see no purpose in burying millions of dollars of dark fiber here, but others might.*

*Whew* By mid-week, we were run down and more than a little tired.

But things went ary on Thursday. We had guests come to see our work, check out our process and gawk at the cool stuff we have access to. But after they left, so did we, felled by something unpleasant and intestinal. After a nap, Ron and I took Denise out for a nice Italian meal nearby.

Friday was bad. I made Denise stay at home, but I only stayed in the office for about an one-and-a-half hours. By the time I made it home, I was in the mood for a nice long shower, a toilet, and some groundnuts.

Yesterday was better, though. I did some laundry, played around all day, and we ate at one of the local pork joints for dinner. Splendid!

And today, I read a whole book.

And tomorrow, my fantastic girlfriend begins her new job. Yay! So exciting! Congratulations!

And really, pictures are coming.
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*Here's a doozy of a conspiracy theory for you:
1) Google needs to get chummy with the Politburo, looking to stake a claim in the net market in China. Gets burned in the process by privacy advocates.
2) Google now in China, but realizes that the Chinese will finally break the IPv4 Internet.
3) Google/China now invest massively in dark fiber to force widespread use of IPv6 addressing outside the entrenched US/Europe markets.
4) US/Europe get pulled along within a couple of years. Buzz permitting. (Or, alternatively, IPv6 is branded as the 'poor man's internet,' becomes a standard only for developing countries, and never gets admitted into the developed world.)

Second Update Today!

2007-07-13T14:14:00.000+02:00

Upping the daily average:

I've been working on the previous post for the last week. Man, was that a pain in the ass. Not only did I have to rewrite large portions of it, but every time I wanted to post it the internet connection seemed to go out here. Then I revised it, and it started all over again.

Also, you'll notice that the last post was heavily annotated. That's something I used to do on my other blog. It required much finagling (I had to edit the blog's source template, which is not fun). But I like being able to do that.

Also, Blogger's tools have been overhauled to complicate the process for me. When I copied local-page tags (they look like this -- < href = " # note1 "> -- the editor insisted on redirecting them to the editing page, not to the home page of the blog. And after I edited each link (there are 18 in the last post) and published, reopening the post for editing put the incorrect links back. Geez, guys. Not clever. Not at all.

Anyway, that's why it took two weeks to post a 700-word article.

Look for some pictures soon (hopefully in the next day or two).

The Project, or How I Came to Uganda

2007-07-08T13:57:00.000+02:00

For all of those who still have questions about what exactly we're doing here, let me e'splain something to ju.

Prehistory

Back when I was a lowly, second-semester freshman, I started a research project. Although I did not truly understand the scale of the undertaking, I set off to investigate, categorize, and otherwise describe the myriad qualities and quantities of newspaper coverage of Africa. With the nudging of my overly supportive project director, I slimmed this rather over-blown, make-a-Ph.D.-pee-her-pants project into the tough-but-chewy analysis of one specific place, from one date to another, and from but a single journal. Here are the salients, in convenient, pithy bulleted form:

Journal: The New York Times
Dates: 1979-1986
Country of Interest: Uganda

The project was a good one, and I learned quite a bit about scholarship, most of it about my contemporary abilities and framed in the negative. However, as I say, the project was a good one. The time frame for investigation covered the most recent series of political convulsions in Uganda. In 1979 General Idi Amin was deposed by a coalition of rebels/freedom fighters from the regime of Apollo Milton Obote, the previous president of Uganda; various Ugandans displaced by or disgruntled with the heavy-handed reign of Amin; and thousands of Tanzanian troops. By 1985 Obote's second presidency was over, again at the hands of his generals. Early the next year, Tito Okello Lutwa, deposer of Obote and head of the military government, was ousted by the National Resistance Army/Movement (NRA/M).1 The head of the NRA/M2 was Yoweri Kaguta Museveni, currently the fourth-term incumbent President of Uganda.

My project seemed especially relevant in its contemporary context, as well. It was the spring of 2003, right at the beginning of the debate over the relative merits of print and digital content. The Times was trying to negotiate the waters of being a dual-format medium. As an added bonus, journalism itself was being knocked around a bit. Blogs were popping up like weeds, causing outrage, annoyance, or giggles in the press club. And the Jayson Blair scandal did little for the Gray Lady's street cred. Shortly after the Iraqi invasion that spring, questions began to circulate about the credibility of Times reporting in general. All this formed the background of my research.

It is widely held in academic circles that American media has largely ignored Africa. The sources of this blind spot are so numerous that deducing any single source is much like going at the Gordian knot with tweezers. Rather than speculate about our lack of interest in the continent, I chose instead to examine how the Times engaged readers about events there. Looking through the Times’ indexes, I counted and categorized the coverage of Uganda during the most tumultuous period in its post-Colonial history.

The results were interesting, if only because they raised more questions than I could adequately answer. Coverage was scant, except for instances of armed conflict. Throughout the slow downward spiral of the country (1980-1983), little information was published. Once rebels began a fierce bush war in Luweero, coverage began to pick up again. Worse, the reports either oversimplified the conflict (as both newspapers and bloggers are wont to do) or took sides arbitrarily.

“Why?” was a question that a 19-year-old was unable to piece together intelligently. Certainly, the assumption is that American interest in Africa is roughly comparable to that of, say, Brazilian’s interest in Arab camel races. While this is a tragic underestimation of American fascination with and horror of the continent, that seemed to be the attitude of the Times. Since few reporters take up jobs in foreign bureaus, and fewer stay in them for significant lengths of time, the little reporting that occurred was uninformed. And -- an insight at the time, though it would shock nary a five-year-old today -- coverage was largely sensationalist.

There were so many shortcomings in my report. I should have invested some energy in researching the reporters stationed in East Africa during the time, maybe gotten access to their notes and biographies, but I did not. I should have taken the time to carefully review more of the articles themselves, but I did not leave myself time. And I should have compared coverage with other countries and topics, but I did not think of it. It's a project I really need to revisit and update; it showed so much promise, and I was too inexperienced to handle it appropriately. If I can find an electronic copy, I will be sure link to it.

Recent Past

After two years, I decided to revisit the issue of newspapers and African wars. For my undergraduate thesis, I tackled the problem from a different angle, however. Working from a large collection of news articles (not an index) and focusing on the information content, not on tone, this project was more limited in scope, but more rigorous in the approach. Here again, easily digestible bullets!

Journal: English-language media published in Uganda
Dates: 2003-2004
Country of Interest: Northern Uganda

This time, I was looking to understand a crisis that had spun completely out of control twenty years before and continues to boil over at regular intervals. The war in northern Uganda3 has touched several regions in the country, from the West Nile in the northwest, across Acholiland in the central north, to Karamoja in the east, and as far south as Lango and Iteso in the center of the country. The center of the conflict has been the central Northern region, plus the northern part of the Eastern region, as labeled on this map.

The war has been brutal and unpopular. At the height of the conflict, over two million people had been displaced from their homes and were housed under appalling and dehumanizing conditions in Internally Displaced Persons (IDP) camps. Although the conflict has raged since 1986, very little is known about it outside academic circles. And information on the war is hard to come by; good information is even rarer. The popular understanding of the war as an insurrection with the aim of establishing an autonomous Acholi state governed by the Ten Commandments is the pernicious myth that clouds any real understanding of the conflict. In fact, Finnstrom demonstrates the ridiculous nature of those claims.4 But in 2006, there were few accessible ways of understanding the conflict, short of digesting reams of Government of Uganda (GoU) and NGO documents or risking life and limb traveling to the north.

Our first attempt to parse the conflict took two parts: 1) try to develop a narrative of the conflict, based on real incidents, statements, and opinions of people actually involved directly in the conflict; and 2) to find a basic sequence of major events that would help inform later studies. These two tasks addressed to fundamental weaknesses in academic studies of the war. First, only a few voices were recognized as contributors to understanding the conflict. The majority of the dialog was controlled by official press sources and a government and military that were made up largely of non-Luo-speaking peoples from the south of Uganda. Second and equally limiting, no comprehensive chronology of the 21-year span of the war exists.

Using the materials collected by my adviser from two English-language newspapers published in Kampala, I aggregated data from individual newspaper reports from January, 2003 to December, 2004.

The results were interesting, if not entirely conclusive. First, according to the government newspaper, over 93% of all civilian casualties during this period were the result of LRA attacks.5 However, it seems unlikely, considering the history of armed conflicts that over 90% of civilian casualties could attributed to just one side or the other, except in those rare cases where certain, inexcusable predilections are prevalent. Second, over the same period, 2.35 civilians were returned for every civilian reported abducted.6 As I discuss, these numbers undermine commonly held assumptions about the tactics of the LRA. Next, engagements between LRA and the Ugandan Peoples Defence Forces (UPDF) were regular and frequent. As I wrote at the time, "the regularity of contact between the two sides is impressive and calls into question the common accounts of the LRA as a loosely organized terrorist organization using hit-and-run tactics on mostly civilian targets."7 Challenging the assertion that the conflict is cyclical and follows seasonal patterns that favor guerrilla tactics against civilians, I noted that "the clearest trend across the two year period was a linear increase in total LRA deaths."8 Finally, I found that as the numbers of civilians that were "rescued" by UPDF decreased, the number of LRA fighters that surrendered, defected, or were captured by UPDF increased. I concluded that these results are clouded by the murky definitions of “civilian,” “collaborator,” and “rebel” as they are used in New Vision accounts. Because these categories are never clearly defined, and because the incidents are rarely described in much detail, there is often some confusion about whether a group of returnees were armed rebels who surrendered on a battlefield or recent, unarmed abductees “rescued” by the UPDF. In many cases, the reader can make no realistic distinction. Furthermore, UPDF reports often intentionally interpret proximity to LRA forces as evidence of collaboration. By this logic, being in the UPDF’s kill zone means an individual is a rebel.9

The most valuable lesson I took from this research, however, was that statistical history is incredibly satisfying, but horribly labor intensive. It took me six months to quantify just two years of data from one main source, with ancillary information from other newspapers. Extrapolating that rate out across all the relevant materials available on the conflict gives us:

3 months of real-time / 12 months of published material * 10 journals * (72 months of published material [estimated average length of existence] / journal)
= 1/4 * 10 * 72
= 180 months
= 15 years

just to go through the published material by hand.

An electronic copy (PDF) of my thesis is available here.

Certain Current Events

There had to be a better way. And, of course, there is. Let a computer count up all this information for us.

The only problem with that is that none of this information was in a computer anywhere. I had worked from printed newspaper accounts. And I'm not about to go typing in 10,000 pages of material by hand. We have to scan all of that material. And a back-of-the-envelope estimation suggests we might have between 1 and 2 million pages of material to go through. That's a lot of scanning. Complicating the situation is the fact that most of this material was produced in Uganda, distributed only in Uganda, and is archived, not in the US, but only in Uganda.

So, not only do we have to scan all of this material in, we have to do it in Uganda. And that's why we're here. We've found a research group that has been compiling, cataloging, and binding newspapers for archival purposes since the late 1980's. They have much of the material we want. And we have wrangled access to some private collections that may have much of what that group is missing. Some of the newspapers we are scanning have also expressed interest in our work. Other archives might be opening up to us soon.

So now we're scanning defunct newspapers because they will be the hardest to find anywhere else. So far, we have access back to 1987. (We want information going back to 1986, but this represents a good start.)

We still have to do most of the work by hand, though. I am personally excited that we have original broadsheets to scan; we insisted on having a scanner capable of handling a full A3 document. But that means reading each day's newspaper and scanning the relevant material. In four hours last Friday, we scanned 35 discreet documents. That was a first attempt, and I spent a fair amount of time trying to figure out how to store the files once we scanned them. I hope to do significantly more than that in the future. (I still hope to take a few thousand documents back with us in August.)

[Note: According to our daily reports, we’ve scanned over 350 files and generated close to 2 GB of data since last Friday.]

And this is just the beginning. I want to index everything we scan. Then when I'm done with that, I want to start dumping all kinds of data into this database. Pictures, oral histories, interviews, video, legal proceedings, pulp fiction, propaganda materials -- basically anything I can condense to text and translate into English will go in here. And then we'll have something worth looking at.

Our full research proposal is available here.

So that’s why we’re here. If you still have some questions, or suggestions, shoot me an email. (The address is in the right-hand column of this page.)

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1. Tito Okello’s surname courtesy of my access to early newspapers at the Centre for Basic Research.
2. It seems to be a peculiar issue of definition, but East African civil wars and rebel movements tend to draw lines between armed groups and political struggles that are clearly linked in spirit and often in leadership. For example, the military command of the Lord's Resistance Army defines itself strictly as an armed group fighting for the political objectives of the unarmed Lord's Resistance Movement. Because of this, and also to contest the assertion that the LRA is an apolitical group seeking only local autonomy, Sverker Finnstrom suggests using the LRM/A acronym in the current conflict.
3. The Wikipedia articles on the LRM/A and the war are pathetic. For instance, although the article on the LRM/A describes the breakdown in the talks as the result of "Kony...simply trying to buy time." (cit.) The article ignores the fact that the 1994 Bigombe talks were largely successful, and that, until the government's ultimatum, the peace agreement was considered largely concluded. I don’t want to endorse them by linking from the body, but they are there to be found.
4. Finnstrom, Sverker. Living with Bad Surroundings. Uppsala University Press, 2003.
5. Rogers, William K. A Statistical Evaluation of the War in Northern Uganda, 2003-2004. Honors Thesis. University of South Carolina, 2006, p. 23. (USC catalog link)
6. Ibid., "Table 2: Civilian Returnees and Abductions," p. 25.
7. "On average, the two armed groups met 16.5 times in a month. With only six exceptions, the government and the rebels fought between 10 and 20 battles per month." Ibid., p. 30.
8. Ibid., p. 34.
9. Ibid., p. 40.

Daily Update

2007-06-28T19:34:00.000+02:00

I knew something was up when a bird plopped on my head, Sunday. After a string of good luck last week (baggage arriving, scanner working after a long trip, finding a good residence, getting research permits without having to pass bribes, etc.), our luck finally broke on Monday when the library put up a series of roadblocks to starting our research.

After two meetings with the librarians and staff, Ron seems to think this won't be doable. They want lots of money to let us do our scans on their materials. Basically, they think we're made of money, when our budget for the scanning and material preparation is basically $0.

(I'll post the details of our project later on, for those of you who haven't heard about it.)

Anyway, I've been having much better results with a research outfit about a 30-minute taxi ride from our house. The head librarian there seems very enthusiastic about helping us help the Center catch up on a backlog of digitizations. They're missing about 15 years worth of documents, and we'll be archiving a lot of that material for them. Anyway, we managed to work out a deal, whereby we pay (affordable) affiliation fees, and we can scan basically as much material as we can in the few weeks we have left. We just leave copies of the files with them. It's a sweet deal, and it lays the foundations for some pretty close collaborations between this project and the Center. (And it doesn't hurt that the Librarian, Charles, and I get along pretty well.)

So it's been a surprise: couldn't work where we planned, but found an interesting alternative.

Oh, and we have heard of two other places that might have large repositories of the materials we're looking for -- we didn't even have to dig for this stuff, and it's already bobbing to the surface!

Joseph's House

2007-06-27T20:53:00.000+02:00

Wednesday Night, Last

"What happens when it rains? " Denise asked.

It was a good question. We were seated in Joseph's car, a sure footed four-door, four-wheel drive little Toyota, while Joseph navigated the narrow, rutted, and pitted road up to his house. The road from the airport had been relatively smooth, but in the last few seconds, we had turned off the well-tarmacked main roads and onto a dirt side road. Suddenly, the road had pitched up to a steep angle. At the same time, the pot holes had matured to full-fledged, tire-and-suspension-mangling ruts. We bounced back and forth in the back seat, trying to stay as still as possible as the car wobbled up the hill.

In answer to her question, Joseph and Ron just laughed.

Wednesday Night

We've moved out of Joseph's house. His compound rested on the hillside up above Kasubi tombs, where the Kabaka of Buganda* are buried, northwest of downtown Kampala. Although we were spending most days in the city or at Makerere University, Joseph good-naturedly ferried us to and from campus each morning and afternoon: Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Monday, and Tuesday. (On Sunday, we relaxed in his compound, reading, eating, and napping.)

It was a modest, single-story house, sparsely furnished, but roomy, with a large front room and eating area, a kitchen, forecourt, porch, three bedrooms, and several other rooms, including two offices. Also nestled in the compounds walls were a driveway, single-car garage, two servants quarters, and a line of yew trees at the fence. But even more impressive, Joseph's compound has an amazing view (small), one that commands the entire valley between Kasubi hill (above Hoima Road) and Makerere hill, where the University sits.

From North to South, we had a clear view out from the eastern side of the hill. At the left-hand side of a broad arc, the hills of Kampala rolled away to Busoga in the north. On the second hill to the northeast, we could see the Baha'i house of worship. Directly East across the valley, we could see the sandstone tower of the University's administration building. To the southeast of that hill lie the upscale compounds of the NGOs and embassies on Kololo hill. And at the feet of Kololo are Nakasero and Kampala city center (small). More to our right, just to the south of the University was the city's largest mosque, whose minaret (small) peaked above another hill near us. At the top of that hill was the Kampala cathedral (small).

If we walked to the top of the hill, we could see west to farms, across a broad swamp, and south west to Lake Victoria. These children (small) are the children of Joseph's neighbor, who is building a new house next door. They dragged us up the hill one afternoon. Cows (small) belonging to another of the neighbors graze on the hillside. They munched contentedly as we passed. At the top of the hill is a Ethiopian coptic church and a bare patch of ground frequented by a young man in Rastafarian garb, with a large dagga leaf stitched onto his jacket. Each night at sunset, he and his friends would gather on the hill to make the regular braying rhythms that constituted some sort of song. He would turn towards the city skyline and chant and bellow as the sun set to his back, casting a grey shadow across the valley, obscuring the Bahai'i temple in the distance and sending us back down the hill, the neighbor's children running ahead of us, yelling for other youngsters to come out of their house and stare and laugh, saying, "Muzungu!Muzungu!;" and all the while, daylight would slip quickly into night.

Epilogue

Nufu House doesn't immediately strike me as poetic. There isn't a grand view here, but there is a wonderful garden, full of flowers and trees. There aren't yew trees bursting with Bulbuls, but there is a weaver-bird nest and a papaya tree. There's no bumpy ride up to the top. Instead we walk up the decaying asphalt road, dodging boda-boda drivers who careen down the slope without regard for speed limits or helmets. We aren't ferried into town by a good friend, but we take 14-passenger taxis. We do have hot and cold running water, and a backup generator for those nights (recently every other night) when the power is cut off. We have internet access in our rooms, and all the tea, coffee, and bananas we can eat. But the Speckled Mousebirds don't serenade us with their songs in the mornings; instead, the neighbor's dogs bray and there's a concert down the hill past the market (which we can hear very clearly at the moment). Certainly we aren't about to complain, but it's hard not to miss the relative isolation of Joseph's compound, the quietness of the nights when the neighborhood's power was cut, and the humor and generosity of our host. Thank for letting us stay with you, Joseph.

Joseph standing with Ron above his house.

(We'll try to get pictures of Joseph and his house, and not just the awesome view. Sorry about that.)

--------------------

*Note: I take no responsibility for the contents of other sites you might be linked to from this page. Wikipedia probably has lame/outdated/wrong information, so don't believe everything you read there. It's also really convenient to link you there.

Quick Update

2007-06-27T14:46:00.000+02:00

Ok,

Fifteen months without an update. Oh well, nothing too much to report.

For those of you who haven't heard, I'm doing a research project in Uganda. We got here last Wednesday night, so we've been here a week now.

This is a quick and dirty post to make sure I still had access to the blog and to put in a placeholder for you until I have time tonight or tomorrow to give a good update. Our bags did eventually arrive with the next flight in (we got them Saturday). The scanner works perfectly, so far. We're running into bureaucratic nightmares at the Library, but the CBR, another repository is being more tractible. And we may have found at least two other sources to get our material from.

*Whew*. On a personal note, I love this place. It's beautiful, the people are fantastic, helpful, and so friendly, I feel like I'm at home here. Beer is pretty cheap, and so are bananas. I miss all of you back home, but you'll be getting a full update from me later on this week.

Unless we go to Bugwere to visit with Ron's adopted family. I'll try to get something up before then.

2006-04-08T23:35:00.000+02:00

Today I met a girl. And we talked. And we talked so much that I forgot to eat lunch.

Good conversation has been lacking from my diet recently, but my deficiency was remedied this afternoon.

Edit: Earlier I was concerned that I seemed to fall hard at least once a week. I've now decided that this is OK and I will keep doing this until I don't have to anymore. I am now officially along for the ride. (11:19pm)

2006-03-21T18:39:00.000+01:00

I find it obnoxious/arbitrary that the University's Inter-Library Loan web site will only allow me to have 10 open requests, meaning that the next five will have to wait until I actually receive an item.... I can understand limiting the total number of requests per person, but only 10? That's just plain stupid.

Edit: The ILL (bad acronym, right?) staff is really asking for it. Don't make me come over there and draw butts on your refridgerators, you guys.

2006-03-21T18:01:00.000+01:00

Due to various climatological, sleep-related, time-management and professional aggravations, I was in a really bad mood until a few minutes ago. But then I cranked up the Arabic Groove to volumes that, although unappreciable in type, definitely annoy my neighbors. And then I drew a butt on the fridge. Listening to Hisham Abbas (Intil Wahee-ee-ee-ee-ee-e-da!), knowing that the next person to walk into my kitchen will be mooned by an appliance, I did actually crack a smile. (But I'm still grumpy....)

A different fridge Butt.

2006-03-15T22:32:00.000+01:00

Jim gives me far too much credit in his post, but the essentials are correct. I do feel passionately about wanting to change the world. If you are planning to send me to Germany to teach English, I have probably lied to you, so please do not read this.

2006-03-11T04:22:00.000+01:00

My day in reverse:

The baseball stadium is only a block from my apartment, so I went over to watch the team beat Quinnipiyuck 10-4. The reliever got a walk-up homer, so that should indicate the level of drama the spectators were spared. Still, a good solid game.
Got home from working on my thesis all day to find that my roommate, who had been in town all of three hours, had left the door unlocked, his ID and a mess on the table, half the kitchen cabinets open, his guitar on the living room floor, and a plate on his bedroom floor. Needless to say, the tornado effect left me spinning. Also, he threw out a perfectly good slug of lettuce. (Or he ate it, which is kinda scary. That was a lot of lettuce.)
Had coffee and a bagel at the coffee shop. Agreed to meet Moriah for drinks and music tomorrow night.
Went to the library to work on my thesis. Tried to track down maps of Northern Uganda and Southern Sudan. Had mild luck with Northwestern University's catalog, but nothing amazing found (yet). Did get 2-foot square (1:500,000) maps from the sixties, though. It cost more money than I care to mention to get them photocopied at Kinkos. I am starting to dislike that place....
Went swimming, per usual. May have a case of swimmer's ear, which is responding to ibuprofen. *Yay*
Thesis. And Adam delivered a bunch of computers that we fixed up as a charity project for my buddy/colleague/partner in crime Thomas. Everything came through pretty well, except for some punctuation issues. And we should deliver them sometime next week.
Food got cold while I made toast and coffee.
Made eggs for breakfast.
Woke up.

This has all been a means of procrastinating on doing more thesis before I go to bed. I don't know why I thought I could pull this off in one semester....

Foul Coffee

2006-02-20T15:32:00.000+01:00

Yes, five weeks w/o an update. And this is not an update. I don't even have the time/money to make fresh coffee on a daily basis, so I had to heat up Saturday's coffee in the microwave this morning. It tasted foul enough to make me want to tell the Interweb....

2006-01-15T01:26:00.000+01:00

It doesn't really matter whether you like a good forensics story, a global money-trail game, computers, or just a decent spy thriller because this story has it all. It was an hour's worth of reading (better than a good NY-er article). I'm not too concerned about the story's veracity; suffice it to say that the post had me on the edge of my seat for a while, and that's all I cared about.

Oh yeah, I should have worked on my thesis instead of reading that. Someone want to forge a note for Dr. Ron?

2006-01-05T15:11:00.000+01:00

If you are reading this and you work for my local public radio station, my New Year's Resolution is to kick your ass until you put Fred Child back on the air at 9 a.m. What the hell is this "Morning Classics" shit? Don't make me cram a tuba in your empty skull; go back to three hours of "Performance Today" in the mornings, or I burn down the station.

Ye be warned.

2005-12-11T04:27:00.000+01:00

First update in more than four months, and first from the Second Continent in more than a year.

Back at school, having just finished a semester (had my last final exam this morning). Still have one last paper to write, but I feel like I'm up for it. Incredibly exhausted, and not looking forward to a vacation in which I predict little engagement either mentally, physically, or spiritually.

As a sort of catching-up, let me nod with a twinkle in my eye to the fire-maned lioness speeding away to the southwest. May we see each other again soon! You destroy my shibboleths, and free me from the crippling ignorance of my youth.

And now, early to bed. Tomorrow, I attack the blood-stained Verdun that my roommate has allowed our kitchen to become, with stacks of wounded dishes, the carcasses of massacred calzones, and the rotten corpses of baking dishes, wine bottles. At least the furry animals have left; I live in the fifth circle of Hell.

2005-08-04T12:47:00.000+02:00

Fun with Sociology, Part II

There's some stuff that I just couldn't sell in the move, so I'm doing the fun thing and giving it away as Shareware.

Next to the Pile of Stuff, I will be placing a note, inviting people to give me money for things they might take. Let's see if anybody is willing to pay for some of this stuff.

Alles Hier Frei zu Nehmen!

Liebe Mitbewohnerinnen/Mitbewohner,

Der hier gestellte Rest ist Shareware. Bitte nehmen was Sie wollen, entweder für Ihre persönliche Gebrauch oder weiter zu verkaufen.

Soll etwas Ihnen möglicherweise besonders gefallen, dann bitte ich Sie um einer kleiner, nicht erfordernden Spende.

--Vielen Dank und alles Beste,
[Konto-Nr., BLZ, Kreditinstitution]

My guess is that I'll get maybe one, but more likely no, donations. This is a student building, and people here are big fans of free. On the other hand, they are people I know well, so there may be a personal proximity factor at work that may encourage them to give a couple Euros. Time will tell.

2005-07-25T18:07:00.000+02:00

In preparing to move, I had to ship several kilos of Crap That I Have Accrued® to the United States. I just sent three packages, totaling 16kg.

Thanks to the retarded, but (as of last week) completely private, German postal monopoly, it cost me 106€.

Even worse, the Deutsche Post uses a bizarre per-package payment system, which means that if I had spent 2,30€ on a box, I could have put the contents of my two smaller packages into one bigger package, saving me a cool 29,70€. But they did not tell me this until after they had already sent both of the packages behind the Very German Line of No Fucking Return. (It's a yellow line, which always indicates something powerful/dangerous/final here.)

Holy crap, this makes me want to vote FDP in September. It's all well and good to protect the people against the tyranny of the market, but this is a perfect instance of Europe needing to loosen up the reigns on business and encourage some healthy competition.

After all, when was the last time anybody thought:

*Sigh* Paying low prices for shipping goods is simply not worth the oppression I suffer at the hands of Federal Express, UPS, and the Postal Service.

2005-07-24T23:55:00.000+02:00

I heard today on NPR's On The Media that John Roberts may have some pro-business leanings on the Commerce Clause. This reinforces my long-held belief that Roe v. Wade is the Wolf's Clothing, an easy way to tie up the Democratic party in their own tongues. I'm working on a long piece that hits on this topic, but for now, don't look at abortion rights: Bush is a business man, so keep your eye on the money interests. When the Senate gets to the confirmation hearings, watch carefully and see what the Senate focuses on.

2005-07-24T23:49:00.000+02:00

I was somewhat surprised to see Robin Williams appear in some relatively complex films (complex from what I hear anyway, I have yet to see any of them). I always figured his serious films were a relatively new sidetrack, but I just happened across Terry Gilliam's bizarre The Fisher King tonight on television. (I wonder when the last time that got airtime in the US was....) Decent flick, although a little long for my taste. Coincidentally, I just last week read a New Yorker piece from last December about Eric Idle's production of a Monty Python-Holy Grail musical, for which I have seen 0 reviews as of yet. If somebody might be so kind as to point me to one....

2005-07-17T22:05:00.000+02:00

This is a very sad time, one that only students will truly understand.

Everyone is heading home after their semester or year here in Germany. One by one, we are dispersing ourselves across the globe, trading the daily contact on which we have gorged ourselves for the thin promise of communications satellites and glass fiber, which may possibly -- but more likely will not -- defeat the evil drifting influences of time, space, new loves and new jobs.

Even in a networked world, saying "Goodbye" has not changed.

2005-07-09T19:19:00.000+02:00

Data Creep

In addition to my PDF Farm, I've now got a pod farm going. In six months, I've managed to amass more than 2 Gb of podcasts and audiobooks, the vast majority of which (about 95%) I have actually listened to. What to do with this stuff?

My dream would be an automatic Speech-to-Text engine running behind iTunes (where they all get imported) and in front of a robust indexing database. Then, while I'm searching for other bits of stuff, the indexed transcripts will return hits, too.

This kind of deep searching offsets some of what Maciej feared would happen if audio took over blogging. Winer and Curry have pushed podcasting through the roof, and for good reason. It's a medium that lends itself to exchanges of lots of audio information automatically. It's convenient to listen to and digest, if you're an auditory person (which, I admit, I'm not).

But we don't yet have any way of building this stuff into our external memory banks yet. We can't search it, we can't deconstruct it, and we can't remix it easily. iTunes does have some cool bookmarking features, but that's certainly not enough. If this stuff is to become useful in a meaningful way (as in, more than just a distribution medium for indy rock and the rants of geeks in their moms' basements), we need to be able to look inside and extract the contents of these podcasts.

2005-07-03T15:54:00.000+02:00

The best part of my pdf farm is that it represents both my knowledge (things I've read), my potential knowledge (I have a folder gathering articles that I intend to read), and forgotten resources (read them, but they don't spring to mind). This could be a huge resource for me, as I work on tackling several upcoming projects, all of which have interconnecting threads. If I had some way to sift through all of this information easily, who knows what I'd be able to do?

A rough estimate now gives me 217 pdf and text documents totaling 164Mb. This is an impressive collection of stuff. Now I just wish I had some tools to help deal with it.

This could take the form of file tagging (á la delicious) or some sort of brute search engine (Spotlight), but whatever form I choose needs to be able to put the relevant information into context and deliver it to me without too much fuss on my part. And it should be smart; when I type "chad," I don't just want a list of articles about the Debacle of 2000 and the Darfur crisis. I want two lists: one about Florida, one about Darfur.

2005-06-30T00:14:00.000+02:00

Just finished watching the BBC series Walking With Dinosaurs.

One major question was raised by the last two episodes: since when have dinosaurs been warm blooded? Back in the 1980's, I can clearly remember this being a hotly debated topic. While it makes sense to me that dinosaurs living in the cold climate of the south pole must have necessarily adapted either warm-blooded and/or hibernation survival strategies, did Robert Bakker manage to win the "Tyrannosaurus is warm-blooded" argument that shows up in the last episode? If he did, I'm sorry that I missed that conference.

Ed. (3.07.05): I've been informed that this was OK. Sorry BBC. I'll do my homework better next time. Of course, if you think about it, endothermy makes all the sense in the world. I wonder why it seemed so strange to me, then.

2005-06-29T17:17:00.000+02:00

Just listened to Harry Shearer's "le Show" for the first time. Meh, not very impressed. I much prefer my "gee, isn't the government screwed up" commentary from John Stewart. Shearer seemed to be flinging out cultural softballs. I prefer Comedy Central's curveballs.

Here ends the baseball metaphor. Conclusion: meh.

Oh, and there was no naked. Sorry for the confusion. Turns out I agreed to make potato dumplings. Boy, would that have been embarrassing.

2005-06-28T21:53:00.000+02:00

I may be wrong...
I hope I'm wrong...

But I think that, just maybe, I might have kind of promised two friends of mine that I would run around naked in the backyard at midnight. Umm... stay tuned to find out.

2005-06-23T23:10:00.000+02:00

Bamberg won the German national basketball championships. There have been cars driving down the street honking their horns for an hour now. I don't expect it to let up at all. Go GHP Bamberg! Shut up, you jerks with your car horns!

2005-06-23T23:09:00.000+02:00

The sociology experiment is over. After 5 days, a nice person did finally put my bike back up. Even better, he seemed to do it not out of necessity, but out of consideration. Thanks, Germany! You're swell!

Germany: 1 bike / 5 days = .2

Next, I will expand my research to other countries and continents. I encourage you to calculate the bike/day ratio of your own country.

2005-06-20T17:19:00.000+02:00

Sociology Experiment. Day 4.

Several people have taken and/or returned their bicycles today. Still change in bike position, but I'm noticing that not having my bike is incredibly inconvenient for traveling around town. It's 31º outside, and time spent on a rapidly moving open-air vehicle would be appreciated. In contrast, the buses are swealteringly closed-air.

Exhibit 1

2005-06-19T19:54:00.000+02:00

Sociology Experiment 1
tags: bike bamberg sociologyproject

For the record:
1) This violates the Policy, but the Policy is (as of now) bunk.
2) I didn't notice the shotgun blast mark on the wall until after I had taken the photo. 10 points to Germany for being more ghetto than my apartment in the States.

2005-06-19T19:11:00.000+02:00

Sociology Experiment!

On Friday, my bicycle got knocked over. It being a day On Which I Did Not Want to Go Outside (you know what I'm talking about), I didn't bother to fix this.

My reasoning at the time:
1) I'm not really worried about it
2) I know who did it, and I'm sure it was an accident
3) I expect this person to Right his or her Wrong

#3 has turned out to be a false assumption.

Not only has my bicycle not been turned upright, but all the other bikes that were knocked over at the same time have been righted! Is this some sort of anti-American statement? Is there some weird I'm-not-going-to-clean-my-room-and-you-can't-make-me thing going on here?

Now, I'm the kind of guy who would take the three seconds it would take to right the bike. Especially if I had knocked it over. So what's the deal, Germany?

It's now a sociology experiment. Let's see how long it takes for someone to fix the bike.

Hypothesis: It will remain on the ground until someone needs the bike-parking space for their (upright) bike.

Everybody put on your sociology caps. Here we go!

2005-06-18T20:00:00.000+02:00

Deutschland 3, Tunisien 0

Ballack didn't play hard enough, and all three goals came fairly late in the second half. Throughout the first, Tunisia consistently out-handled the ball, stealing possession time and again. If the German national team wants to get past Australia in the next round, they'll have to play a hell of a lot smarter.

2005-06-18T14:46:00.000+02:00

I've been accruing self-made PDFs at an incredible rate (I've gone from 0MB to about 50MB in three weeks, and I expect the number to continue growing exponentially), and I need some way to plow through them for useful information.

I don't have Tiger yet, so Spotlight isn't an option. And there's still no word on whether Google will bother porting their search program over to OS X at any point. So, I'm trying out blinkx. Updates to come.

2005-06-06T22:46:00.000+02:00

When I read Job's announcement, my jaw hit the floor. This is what I've been hoping for ever since OS X came out. (Hmmm, that must have been, oh, about five years ago...)

Let the pedantic speculation begin about why ASoTV didn't tell us! Could it be that his hints about a movie streaming service over AirPort was a clever red herring?

This is a big shift for the second-largest OS maker in the world; hence, it's probably the biggest news in the last five years. (The Google IPO was only news to Wall Street; clearly, Google Maps was already under development and would have been release with or without the IPO.)

Scenario: Jobs doesn't want to be scooped. So, somebody drops a juicy, but ultimately uninteresing and not-that-earth-shattering tidbit to the geeks over at slashdot. The internet waters boil for a few weeks over whether or not this guy is for real. Meanwhile, backstage....

It makes sense, especially considering all the problems Apple has been having recently.

2005-06-04T13:40:00.000+02:00

Honey came in and she caught me red-handed
Creeping with the girl next door

At the Asparagus festival(!), I see a pay-per-ride swing set for the children to play on. The swings are shaped like dragons and unicorns, and the operators pump parents for shiny 2€ coins.

Beneath the stage on which the swings have been erected blares the sweet melody of Shaggy's "It Wasn't Me." Umm... Germany, could we have a brief word?

Picture this, we were both butt naked
Bangin' on the bathroom floor

Some days its really hard to tell whether Europe swallowed the Dada movement whole, whether they are making fun of American pop culture, or whether they just don't get it.

2005-06-02T18:32:00.000+02:00

Once again, overly-determined biology versus cultural influences. (printer-friendly)

Ironically, this new 'evidence' just furthers my suspicion that autism is really a socially-constructed phenomenon, rather than a biological disorder or disease. A lot of my German friends can't tell when I'm being sarcastic, but that doesn't mean they're autistic, now does it? No, of course it doesn't; we're peering into a part of our bodies we don't fully understand with methods that we cannot vet. Nothing about this article suggests that we understand why this happens, and whether it's a disorder, a normal variation, or something else entirely.

From Theodore Dalrymple: "Everyone has a right to health; depression is unhealthy; therefore everyone has a right to be happy (the opposite of being depressed)."

Something similar has happened with autism, I believe. Instead of disorderly children in need of extra attention and socialization, these children are ill, need to be put in the care of "experts," and *tada!* require medication. Send in the clowns.

[My apologies to Doug Flutie.]

They Call Me "Mr. Dish-Pits"

2005-04-24T16:20:00.000+02:00

I've made the annoying discovery that my deodorant smells like our dishwashing liquid. Let me explain.

I've made an effort to do the German thing in most life-ways and modes. I've bought the toothpaste, watch the German TV shows, and read German newspapers. It's all about becoming familiar with the material culture.

The only real concessions to America I've made in this material realm are baseball and deodorant. I mitigate the effects of the former by watching football (that's, ahem, soccer). But I've had a hard time giving up my Old Spice.

I've used it ever since I can remember needing it, except for one short-lived affair with Speed Stick in high school. As much as we like to deny the effects of our material culture, there is something indicative in the scents we choose. I use Old Spice for the same reason people vote Republican or root for the Falcons: my dad used it, it's what I was brought up on, and now I identify that smell as part of "me."

So, I've resisted buying German deodorant. However, I finally broke down and bought a spray-can of something Adidas-manufactured last week. It's horribly inadequate for the job of deodorizing, and has a strong smell that still seems alien to me. Of course, the reason it's so un-me is because it smells like dishwashing liquid.

I will not try to describe the smell, but it's embarassing to wander around all day smelling like clean dishes. (Although smelling like dirty dishes would, I admit, be much worse.) The only way to fix this, as I see it, is to quietly dispose of or sequestor the remainder of the dishwashing liquid until I run out of deodorant and can safely retreat back to my Old Spice.

Friedman Gets On Board

2005-04-10T20:27:00.000+02:00

It was nice to see Thomas L. Friedman's appearance on the Daily Show. Since I stopped reading the Times (for the obvious reasons and because without Bill, what's the point?) and gave up on American media (except for a couple of things), I hadn't heard anything out of him since he visited my school (almost) two years ago.

Imagine my surprise to hear about his new book.
What's even better, though, is that he finally seems to be on board with my idea about energy independence. Unfortunately (and there's always a downside with this guy), it's just not the kind of thing that American youth are going to get excited about; sorry, Tom, but no 12-year-old gives the first damn about energy independence. Sure, space was cool; but what made it cool wasn't the President telling us it was strategically important, what made it cool was a) the thrill of discovery; and b) the popular image of exactly what was out there to discover.

No little green men, no rush to engineering schools.

That said, I still want to read the book. To everybody who passed up my birthday (you know who you are....), I expect to see a copy of this book in the mail sometime soon. (In English, please.)

The Week's Quotes

2005-04-10T11:25:00.000+02:00

More fun stuff from the December 6th, 2004, edition of The New Yorker:

Most Obtuse Award
"Apostrophizing the then consummated epoch of Abstract Expressionism, when modern art definitively triumphed in American culture, 'Broken Obelisk' stirs warring feelings --ecstatic assent, vertiginous doubt-- that have attended the fitful ambitions of artists since the nineteenth century to establish cosmopolitan, secular equivalents of religion." --Peter Schjeldahl, on Barnett Newman's piece's placement in the then-newly-reopened MOMA, p. 117

Most Unbecoming of the Subject
"And, terminally unpleasant or not, Eminem is occasionally astonishing, able to upend expectations and redeem his many tedious attempts to épater all of us." --The inimitable Sasha Frere-Jones, stretching credulity while reviewing Mathers'/Shady's/Eminem's latest Encore, p 119.

Most Illiterate Comment
"In 1899, he [Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett, the Lord Baron Dunsany] joined the Coldstream Guards and sailed off to South Africa to fight in the Boer War.... Of his initiation under a hail of Boer bullets, he cooly wrote, 'I have no wish to say anything critical of anyone's shooting, or to belittle some rifle that may be dear to its owner, but I cannot see why they did not get the whole lot of us.' The African landscape, with its vast, parched stretches of unpeopled wilderness, sunk in more deeply; lonely deserts became one of his favorite fictional settings." --Laura Miller, simultaneously misstating the facts (it was the Second Boer War), rehashing the same old slander (that the Rand was empty when the Boers got there -- a self-aggrandizing fiction perpetuated by South Africans straight through to the Apartheid State), and begging the question, "If there was nobody there, who exactly was fighting the war?", p. 113.

From Other Sources:

"One of the things that I think is the most unfortunate about the gay marriage movement is that its implicit message seems to be that framing our relationships in ways that the state might recognize is more important than defining our practices of love on our own terms." --Priya Kandaswamy, in "Is Gay Marriage Racist? A Conversation with Marlon M. Bailey, Prya Kandaswamy, and Mattie Udora Richardson," from That's Revolting! Queer Strategies for Resisting Assimilation, ed. by Mattilda (aka Matt Bernstein Sycamore).

The goal of the eotechnic civilization as a whole until it reached the decadence of the eighteenth century was not more power alone but a greater intensification of life: color, perfume, images, music, sexual ecstasy, as well as daring exploits in arms and thought and exploration. Fine images were everywhere: a field of tulips in bloom, the scent of new mown hay, the ripple of flesh under silk or the rondure of budding breasts: the rousing sting of the wind as the rain clouds scud over the seas, or the blue serenity of the sky and pond and watercourse. One by one the senses were refined.
(...)
Throughout life, alike for rich and poor, the spirit of play was understood and fostered. If the gospel of work took form during this period, it did not dominate it.

Later, during the Paleotechnic era (roughly during the Industrial Revolution),
Sex, above all, was starved and degraded [under the low-quality living conditions of the poor laboring classes]. In the mines and factories an indiscriminate sexual intercourse of the most brutish kind was the only relief from the tedium and drudgery of the day.... Among the agricultural population in England sexual experience before marriage was a period of experimental grace before settling down: among the new industrial workers, it was often preliminary to abortion....
Even among the more prosperous middle classes, sex lost both its intensity and its priapic sting. A cold rape followed the prudent continences and avoidances of the pre-marital state of women. The secrets of sexual stimulation and sexual pleasure were confined to the specialists in the brothels, and garbled knowledge about the possibilities of intercourse were conveyed by well-meaning amateurs or by quacks whose books on sexology acted as an additional bait, frequently, for their patent medicines. The sight of the naked body, so necessary for its proud exercise and dilation, was discreetly prohibited even in the form of undraped statues: moralists looked upon it as a lewd distraction that would take the mind off work and undermined the systematic inhibitions of machine industry.
--Lewis Mumford, describing neither Nipplegate, nor John Ashcroft-related-sillyness, but the aesthetic differences between pre-Industrial and post-Industrial Europe. From Technics and Civilization; first quote from pp. 148-50, second from pp. 179-80.

Van Buren Sighting #2

2005-04-04T12:31:00.000+02:00

Martin!

"As Widmer relates, some newspapermen called the New York Democrat 'the little magician" because of his diminutive frame and his deftness at political sleight of hand. Others—who criticized his response when the American economy ground to a halt shortly after his election in 1836—called him "Martin Van Ruin.'"

(Note the special offer: Martin van Buren and Chester A. Arthur!)

Decade 3, Part II (of X)

2005-03-29T09:17:00.000+02:00

Wilkommen in der Forsetzung meines Lebens. Danke für euere mithilfe.

P.S.: I cannot read fast enough.

Literary Breaches

2005-03-08T17:42:00.000+01:00

Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass

After a brief read-through, I noticed a good deal of twining. It reminded me of an essay I read on the ambivalence of twins in an African society (as powerful people, but feared because twins represent a break in the natural 1:1 order [Mother-child]).

Tweedle-Dum and Tweedle-Dee, who not only look alike (ambivalence of character/individuality), but also tend to share the same physical space

The pair of Queens, twins/equal-status figures who nevertheless exist in a hierarchy (Red over White)

Interesting. I cannot wait for Fantasy and Reason in English Literature. I will rock that class.

The Book Shelf

2005-03-08T11:27:00.000+01:00

For an up-to-date list of books, music, and movies I've been consuming, check out my allconsuming.net profile.

I've changed the Reading List, so now we'll have an archive.
Note: In keeping with the idea of "clog the works with metadata," I'm putting a bunch of useless data in here, in case I ever want to play with the stats. Maybe one day, the XML in here will be updated/standardized.

Personal Reading:

That's Revolting! Queer Strategies for Resisting Assimilation -- Mattilda, aka Matt Bernstein Sycamore, ed.; (5.4.2005- )
The DaVinci Code -- Dan Brown; (26.3.2005-1.4.2005)
Due Preparations for the Plague -- Janet Turner Hospital; ( -summer 2006)

School:

Essen und Trinken

Recent Jewish Lit.

Total Immersion -- Allegra Goodman; (15.04.05- )

Fantasy and Reason

The Science of Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials -- Mary & John Gribbin; (24.4.05-24.4.05)
The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe -- C. S. Lewis; (4.4.2005-4.4.2005)
Northern Lights -- Philip Pullman; (14.3.2005-16.3.2005)
Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass -- Lewis Carroll; (5.3.2005-8.3.2005)

Biologismus

Verdammt zu Unmoral -- Franz Wuketits; ( - )
Gen-Ideologie Biologie und Biologismus in den Sozialwissenschaft -- Josef Heilmeister, Klaus Mangold, et. al. (Hsrg.); ( - )
Reechanted Science: Holism in German Culture from Wilheml II to Hitler -- Anne Harrington; ( - )

Der Staat in subsaharischen Afrika

Staatssoziologie. Soziologie der rationalen Staatsanstalt und der modernen politischen Parteien und Parlamente -- Max Weber; ( - )
Staat und Verfassung -- Otto Hintze; ( - )
The Sociology of the State -- Bertrand Badie and Pierre Birnbaum; ( - )

Aktionskunst

Ästhetik des Performativen -- Ericka Fischer-Lichte; ( - )

Jugendkulturen im 20. Jahrhundert

Tech List (for Teleonomy):

Shaping Technology/Building Society -- Wiebe E. Bijker; (17.04.05- )
Neuromancer -- William Gibson; (11.04.05-14.04.05)
Technics and Civilization -- Lewis Mumford; (31.3.2005- )
The Camel and the Wheel -- Richard W. Bulliet; (11.3.2005-31.3.2005)
Virtuelle Gemeinschaft -- Howard Rheingold; (9.3.2005-30.3.2005)
Culture & Technology -- Andrew Murphy and John Potts; (-26.2.2005)
The Secret Life of Avatars -- Ralph Schroeder (Ed.); (-8.3.2005)

Back Burner:

The Subtle Knife -- Philip Pullman; (17.3.2005- )
Winneton -- Karl May; (?-late 2006 )
Such Sweet Thunder -- Vincent O. Carter; ( -?)
Die Erfindung des R62 -- Kobo Abe; (8.3.2005-early 2005?
Im Krebsgang -- Günter Grass; (26.2.2005-fall 2006)

Coming Up:

Wissenschaft und Zivilsation in China (Band I)-- Joseph Needham; ( - )
The Machine in the Garten -- Leo Marx; ( - )
The Social Construction of Technological Systems -- Wiebe E. Bijker; ( - )
Smart Mobs: The Next Social Revolution -- Howard Rheingold; ( - )
Der Dativ ist dem Genitiv sein Tod -- Bastian Sick; ( - )
The Amber Spyglass -- Philip Pullman; ( - )
Fatherland -- Robert Harris; ( - )
Die Technik und die Kehre -- Martin Heidegger; ( - )
Kunst und Technik: Gedächnisschrift zum 100. Geburtstag v. M. Heidegger -- Walter Biemel u. Friedrich-Wilhelm v. Herrmann, eds.; ( - )
Kemal Ataturk -- Hanns Froembgen; ( - )
From Sultanate to Republic: Mustafa Kemal Ataturk and the Structure of Turkish Politics, 1922-1924 (Princeton Dissertation, Near East Studies) -- Michael M. Finefrock; ( - )
Moustapha Kemal Ataturk: 1882-1938 -- Willy Sperco; ( - )

-- ; ( - )

Note: Someday, I'll XML this puppy up.
(Ed: List start date 8. März, 2005.) Last Update 13. Juli, 2007.

The Wine Cellar

2005-03-08T11:18:00.000+01:00

~~Valpolicella, 2002 -- Il Vecchio Casato, ?? IT~~
~~"La Rena," Primitivo Rosso, 2001 -- Leone de Castris, Salice Salentino IT~~
~~Rex Goliath, Pinot Noir, 2003 -- HRM Rex Goliath! Wines, Gonzales CA/USA (x2)~~ (Thanks for the gift, Dad!)

~~Primitivo (Rosso), 2001 -- Cantina Viticultori Associati, Veglie IT~~
~~Locorotondo, 2002 -- Cantina Albea Alberobello, Alberobello IT~~
~~"Torricella," Orvieto classico, 2002 -- BIGI, Orvieto IT~~
~~"Negraro," Valpolicello classico superiore, 1999 -- Azienda Vinicola Fratelli Fabiano, Sona IT~~
Riesling, 2002 -- Weingut Clauer, Heidelberg DE
Spätburgunder, 2001 -- Weingut Clauer, Heidelberg DE

A Letter to the Senate and Governor of the State of South Carolina

2005-03-05T11:24:00.000+01:00

28 February 2005

Senator [---------]
Member, Education Committee
SC State Senate
......, Columbia, SC

Dear Senator [---------]:

We, the undersigned, ask you to defeat Senate Bill s. 114. Among the bill’s aims is the establishment of “The South Carolina Science Standards Committee". This new committee’s charge would be to: "(1) study science standards regarding the teaching of the origin of species; (2) determine whether there is a consensus on the definition of science; (3) determine whether alternatives to evolution as the origin of species should be offered in schools” (s. 114). We oppose this amendment for the following reasons:

1) We see no need to alter the definition of science.

There already is broad consensus with regard to the definition of science. A survey of textbooks will demonstrate complete agreement with Webster’s Dictionary that science is “systematized knowledge of nature and the physical world ... derived from observation, study, and experimentation.” All scientific understanding is predicated on repeatable observations, testable hypotheses and experimentation; all explanations derived from this process are couched in terms of natural laws and principles with no recourse to the supernatural. Science and its methods have been spectacularly successful in our search for understanding the physical universe, from physics, chemistry and biology to medicine and moon rockets. There is no rational basis for revising its definition.

2) There is no scientific “alternative” to evolutionary theory.

Using the methods of science, evolutionary biology has continued to increase our understanding of all aspects of the biological world, including the origins of new species. Our insights into these processes have dramatically deepened over the last thirty years with the advent of powerful molecular techniques undreamt of back when Darwin first proposed a mechanism for change in organisms over time. Repeated testing of our ideas and conclusions has shown us that there are several routes to forming new species. Furthermore, our findings indicate new species may form even faster than we had earlier suspected.

These activities and their outcomes are the results of the on-going testing of evolutionary theory via the processes of the scientific method. In everyday English “theory” is often synonymous with the word “hunch” or “guess”. However, a scientist uses “theory” in a very specific way, one that is far from that casual sense. A scientific theory is a well-tested set of observations and conclusions that explain and predict all relevant information regarding a natural phenomenon. Theories guide us to the next questions in every area of science including our understanding of atomic decay, the structure of atoms, gravity, plate tectonics and evolution. None of these is a mere guess; all have withstood years of testing and all have made predictions, borne out by experimentation, concerning what the next finding should be. Because they have survived rigorous testing, these theories continue to act as the fundamental explanatory structures in their scientific realms and they have displaced earlier, erroneous attempts at explanation and prediction.

No one proposes that students learn non-scientific “alternatives” such as the existence of “phlogiston” to account for combustion; schools do not waste precious instructional time with the ideas from proponents of a flat earth, a geo-centric solar system or non-atomic bases for the structure of matter. Similarly, there exists no testable alternative to evolutionary theory to explain the diversity of organisms on our planet. Thus, we have no scientific alternative to teach, and introduction of such ideas into a science curriculum takes that curriculum out of the realm of science. It would be like demanding that French grammar be taught in a math curriculum. It is not a relevant idea.

3) Based on statements made to the press it is clear the real basis for introducing this bill is to undermine the teaching of evolution and to promote “intelligent design” as an alternative in science classrooms.

Senator Michael L. Fair, one of the bill’s sponsors, told the Greenville News that "his intention is to show that Intelligent Design is a viable scientific alternative that should be taught in the public schools" (May 1, 2003). Intelligent design is an off-shoot of the broader religious notion of creationism. Both creationism and intelligent design invoke the concept of a “higher power” as an explanatory device for natural phenomena and thus neither is a “viable scientific alternative” to anything. Supernatural entities are not bound by natural laws and can act independently of any such restrictions. Because intelligent design relies on supernatural intervention as the agent of change it is automatically outside the realm of science. Such ideas as creationism and intelligent design are not appropriate explanations in a science classroom because they do not adhere to the limitations science places on itself.

We respectfully request that you defeat Bill s.114. It does nothing to strengthen science education in South Carolina and, in fact, it makes a mockery of the notions of what science is.

Respectfully yours,

Dr. William Rogers, Professor of Biology, Winthrop University....

Co-signatories to the letter:
(Ed: 122 Signatories were listed below as of 4. March, 2005.)

---------------------
Ed: Thanks, ~~to Dr. Rogers~~ Dad, for allowing me to post this letter.

Visiting Genius

2005-02-19T01:02:00.000+01:00

Recently, the Breach was visited by an old friend from Way Back in the Day. As she puts things much more eloquently, I'll stick to mild ranting and raving, which, come to think of it, I haven't been doing to much of recently. So, a quickie:

Empire, I'm sorely bored of you. Go become your own Moëbius strip and disappear up your own ass. The rest of us out here in the Reality-based world are tired of you besmearing our newspapers.

Magdalenish, everybody! A big hand for the Besucherin! (The part about me is towards the bottom, but by all means, don't skip straight down!)

A Quick and Reflective Post

2005-02-14T19:49:00.000+01:00

3. September, 3. October, 3. November, 3. December, 3. January, 3. February, and now 11 days more. Five months, 11 days. A long time.

I cannot really remember what I was expecting. Some things, but definitely not others. Sauerkraut and rolls, I guess. The forests and the Hain. Certainly not Merkl, but maybe Fischer. Certainly not the Thai food at Pelikan, but definitely the beer at Klosterbräu.

I have surprised myself quite a bit. But my real point (if there is a point) is that other people have surprised me more. Approaching six months, I am learning quite a bit about my neighbors and their own German-ness. Their hopes, desires, and anxieties are somehow old, universal, and yet new to me because of the context. I hope that I will get the opportunity to get to know them better.

That is, of course, the one regret I have so far: I have not made a big enough effort to integrate myself completely at the German table. In the last almost-five-and-a-half months I have acquired the tools to interact more sincerely with my acquaintances. Now is the time to put those skills into action. I finally feel comfortable to be convincingly conversive on a range of topics, to be creative, or to be funny.

Hopefully, when my neighbors come back, I can keep it up.

Van Buren Sighting #1

2005-02-10T18:40:00.000+01:00

There's incredible cheating action going on, featuring good ol' #8, Martin.

Breached Menu

2005-01-30T23:08:00.000+01:00

Mustard-Bussel Sprouts -- Spice up an already good thing

It's good that nobody likes these veggies because that makes them cheaper. Here in Bamberg, the prices on sprouts went way down after the third frost.(1) Since then, I've been eating about one-and-a-half kilos of sprouts per week.

-Cut off sprout bases, rinse and drain.
-Boil a pot of water. A big pot.
-Put sprouts in a strainer and steam over the pot. Do not cook all the way through, but get the outside layers pretty damp. Time varies based on the size of sprouts.
-Dump some pasta and salt into the boiling water.
-Lightly sauteé a chopped onion (a ringed onion works very well, too) and garlic. Add the brussel sprouts. Increase from low to medium-high heat. Add salt, black pepper, and cayenne to taste.
-Add between 1/3 and 1/4 cup of yellow mustard. Use something besides French's, you cheap jerk. Add about 2-4 tbsp. water, depending on the amount of mustard and whether you want a sauce-y or drier dish. Add some butter, mix all so that the sprouts are evenly coated.

Serve sprouts and onions over the pasta.

-----Endnotes-----
1. Which doesn't make a whole lot of sense. I would have figured that the frost would have come well after the sprouts' season.

Launch Party

2005-01-30T13:30:00.000+01:00

For You (sing., no doubt) that reads this

Parallel blog, three weeks in the making, finally launched. Go check out my new (short-term?) obsession! Technology! Fun!

Idle Morons are the Devil's Playthings

2005-01-22T14:53:00.000+01:00

Breaking my short publishing moratorium to bring you the abortion debate

"Despite what disingenuous proponents of abortion would like women to think, evidence shows that there are significant physical and mental health risks associated with having an abortion. Far from being safe, abortion is, in fact, an extremely risky procedure that can not only cause substantial harm to the patient and any future pregnancies, but can also lead to agonizing psychological trauma as well. The fact is that the pro-abortion left does not have women's best interests in mind. Until Planned Parenthood and its supporters decide to start telling the truth, thousands of women will continue to be the ignored and forgotten victims of legally induced abortion."
-- Scott "Alex" Harper, "Abortion poses serious health risks to mothers"The (USC) Daily Gamecock [20. Jan, 2005]. (1)

My response

In response to Alex Harper's Commentary on abortion (20 Jan., 2005), I would suggest that if women are facing psychological trauma from abortions, the Christian Right and other anti-abortion groups share much of the responsibility. By photographing women who visit clinics where abortions are performed, by publishing the personal information of clinic employees, by advocating (and in some cases executing) the murder of doctors and nurses who perform abortions, and by mounting national media campaigns against the practice, these groups seek to intimidate and shame women. No wonder women suffer mental anguish! This intimidation (as well as the subsequent clamor that the resulting mental stress is a reason to continue intimidating women) is nothing more than a bullying tactic.

No responsible person on either side of this issue would recommend that women have an abortion without first considering the consequences: physical, mental and spiritual. However, a more enlightened approach includes providing help and support for those women who decide that their circumstances warrant such a difficult choice. Instead of increasing the trauma, pro-life organizations could better spend their money caring for these victims and reducing the conditions that lead them to choose abortions in the first place. While not the ultimate factor, poverty and its consequent circumstances, such as domestic abuse, depression, sexual abuse, homelessness and a lack of education often lead women to choose abortions. Reducing the effects of poverty, especially among racial minorities (who are one of the main focuses of WorldNetDaily's sources on the reproductive effects of abortion), would in the long run decrease the rate of abortions.

Furthermore, as with all medical proceedures, abortions entail certain risks. However, rather than outlawing the proceedure, this is a primary reason to keep abortions "above the boards." If the underlying causes of abortion (poverty, lack of affordable contraception, a lack of accurate sexual education in schools, etc.) are not addressed, abortions will continue to be performed, regardless of their legality. Better to keep the circumstances as safe, clean and controlled as possible; in the long run, a return to the unenlightened, Victorian-era back-alley abortion proceedures would be devastating. If today's women face possible birth defects in their future children as a consequence, the alternative would be certain sterility or death.
-- Submitted to The Daily Gamecock, 21. Jan., 2005. (not yet published)

To this, I'll add something that occurred to me last night.

If social and pyschological pressures can influence a woman to choose abortion, then Harper's argument seems to come from the wrong direction. In other words, women who face stressful circumstances (especially because of poverty) might simply be more likely to need psychiatric care. Regardless of whether or not these women (2) have abortions, they might need more psychiatric care, due to the circumstances (largely povert-influenced), which I cite above. If these causes also drive the women to terminate their pregnancies, then that may be a contributing factor, but it would not mean that abortions necessarily sent them screaming and crying into the arms of pyschiatric professionals. In other words, I do not see any definite causal link, as suggested by Harper.

Also, make sure to read Brandy's response (which did get published) here.

----Endnotes-----
1. Emphasis mine. Registration required to view old articles. However, it's free.
2. And the "25% percent" he quotes from the Canadian government study (which I haven't been able to find -- surprise, surprise) still seems like a fairly low number. I would assume that the n for the study was fairly low, perhaps only in the hundreds.

--edited to remove bad page breaks; bold added; -W. 23.01.05

Hiatus

2005-01-21T13:40:00.000+01:00

Breached Unity will be taking a brief sabbatical while my attention is distracted by another project. Check out the new technology-themed blog, coming in the next few days (hopefully). Breached Unity will be back full-time by early February, at the latest (although much sooner, I hope).

When Things Happen

2005-01-17T15:24:00.000+01:00

An Italian frend of mine saw a huge cucumber in somebody's produce basket in the kitchen the other night. How did she react? By picking it up and holding it out in front of her. By telling me that it was "huge." By declaiming sodomizado! at the top of her lungs, for emphasis.(1)

I have run afoul of the Bamberg University's computer geeks. Apparently, I've disabled my account due to excessive incorrect logins, which probably means that I set my password to something screwey last year and my attempts to guess it locked out the account. This is stupid, because I can't think of a reason why I would have set an unusual password. Of course, it might have been something else that set it off. Like when I tried to access my email account 27 times, then realized that I didn't have an account on their servers because I had never requested one. Or the time I typed in the wrong password in the VPN manager 13 times in a row. Who knows? The point is -- no study guides for me this week.

-------Endnotes--------
1. This word is, of course, quite fun to hear in Italian.

"Ag" Might Stand for "Aggravation"

2005-01-14T13:02:00.000+01:00

Wonderful new tidbit in the USDA Food Plan Guide for 2004.

Note that the top spending bracket is referred to as "liberal."

I'm not trying to instigate some sort of Congressional investigation, now, but wouldn't it seem to be common sense to remove words used for political labeling from government reports? Things like this are the reason liberal Democrats distrust the "bipartisan" efforts of the Administration. They'll bring you to the table, then serve you bullshit, call it steak, and ignore your complaints.(2)

But more to the point, the meaning of the word "liberal" is undergoing a change for the worse. We saw during the campaign that the Republican party has been able to browbeat their own interpretation of "liberal" into the party base, with Guliani, Schwarzenegger (3), and Cheney all using it to protray the Democrats as weak, elitist, and evil. This connotation is a long way from the days of the Depression-era meaning of the word. But even the Democratic leadership is swallowing this cock-bluster and trying to back off from the word, rather than fighting this portrayal.

"Does it make your blood boil? Well, I should say...."

For the record, given the weakness of the Dollar, although I would fall in the Thrifty ("Republican") - Low-cost end of the plans, I'm currently blowing out the top end of Moderate-cost. Trade policy does affect even the smallest among us, Mr. President.

---------Endnotes--------
1. File in PDF form. You'll need Adobe Acrobat or Adobe Acrobat Reader, which is free.
2. OK, so Tom Daschle was somewhat responsible for that, seeing as how he had no balls, but still....
3. I hate that he's now a "politician." It makes life almost unbearable. He's been described as a "condom stuffed with walnuts," yet he's a governor....

Replacement Post

2005-01-07T14:31:00.000+01:00

I had a cool political piece I was working on, but in the middle of it I decided to do this instead...

When was the last time you reformatted?

January is a good month to do so. In some ways, it fits the gestalt of "out with the old...."

1) Reformatting gets rid of crap that piles up on your harddrive. It releases space that can be used for new and interesting things, like music, downloads, and new documents, rather than six-month old documents, boring spam emails, and dead bookmarks.
2) Reformatting speeds up your system noticeably. You have more space for swap, the fifteen programs in your registry that used to demand processor cycles at startup (traditionally the most processor-intensive part of your computer's "day") are gone, and your registry/libraries are all squeaky, straight-from-the-coder's-desk clean.
3) It makes you feel good to shake off that pack-rat vibe. Even if you just cheat and move everything to a DVD, it still feels good!

Be careful when doing backups before your reformat, though. In general, if a virus is driving your desire for a new installation, don't backup your hard drive! Instead, rely on an old, un-virused backup. (Because you have been backing up regularly, now, haven't you?) Restoring virused backups just makes You grumpy. Then I get phone calls with You on the other end, and You are just no fun when You are grumpy.

Also, be somewhat flexible with your backup. Don't put critical data in just one place or on just one type of media. Be a data spendthrift, too. Backup superfluous items -- who knows what you may need later? Data storage is really cheap these days -- an external hard drive makes a great gift for a birthday, and a 200GB model is pretty affordable. Trust me, when you delete your Annual Report from 2002 because it saves 600 kB and $75, you will be screaming mad when Your Boss's computer crashes and he needs the hard copy ASAP! (Because Your Boss never makes backups. Why? Bosses never make backups!)

The Art of the Fifteen-Minute Post

2004-12-22T18:42:00.000+01:00

It's snowing! For real this time!

The snow is finally sticking. This after 3 weeks of daily highs around 1ºC, bitterly cold clear weather, and nightly frosts that made my toes curl up, wither, and die. But! It's all been worth it to see the snow falling and the city frosted like a big German Pandoro.

This means I managed to fulfill my fantasy of drinking a glühwein in the falling snow. (1) I hope it continues to fall through the night; at the very least, if it stuck around until tomorrow afternoon (when I have visitors), that would be nice. I'm excited to see my frosted Bamberg in the morning!

--------Endnote-------
1. A fantasy I conjured up when the snow started falling.

11 Days, Three Beers, Only One Update

2004-12-22T11:07:00.000+01:00

Christmas preparations prevent me from regailing you. Let me only say, DeutschlandRadio Berlin may be the best radio station in the entire world. Think NPR, except with interludes from Duck's Breath Mystery Theater, German pop-music, and other randomly generated entertainment. Everything I love (music, talking-heads, comedy, and surreal juxtapositions of the above) have been brought together under one roof.

Cool thing's I've heard on DR Berlin:
1. A Schumacher concerto, followed by Roxanne -- the Police
2. Short, vicious (but joking) pieces on how to reach enlightenment or reduce stress by contorting your body into painful and bone-injuring positions, including sound effects!
3. A piece on globalization and it's impact on the German economy, including a live interview with a major official from the Economic Ministry; cut immediately to I'll Be That Girl -- the Barenaked Ladies (1)
4. A piece on education and single-parent households; cut immediately to Wyclef singing "I ain't yo daddy, but I'm the closest thing you got"

I'll forgive the fact that they're now playing some crappy J-pop (Happy! Sad! -- I don't know who, and I don't care, just make it stop!!) because they regularly play Afro-pop, which, after the demise of Afropop Worldwide on my local NPR stations back in the Empire, I miss dearly.

Go check out the live stream: Real Media or MP3. (2) Even if you don't speak German, let the Funny Moon Language act as white noise, then enjoy a music selection that makes the word "eclectic" seem empty and superficial by comparison!

-----Endnote----
1. It's funnier if you understand that most Germans seem to be very disappointed with their economic engine of late.
2. There is also a Windows Media stream, but I don't like Windows Media streams. The quality is lower than the others, and the stream rebuffers too often, leaving out punchlines and useful information. The full selection of streams is available here, under "DeutschlandRadio Berlin."

Burn

2004-12-11T11:13:00.000+01:00

A Quick Note from Yesterday's Süddeutsche Zetiung

On Madame Tussad's somewhat controversial creche exhibition featuring David Beckham and Victoria "Posh" Spice as Joseph and Mary:

Von "schlechtem Geschmack" ist in Rom die Rede, wenn nicht gar von Gotteslästerung. Herr im Himmel, die missdeuten wieder alles! Da stehen doch George W. Bush und Tony Blair neben der Heiligen Familie, und zwar als die "Weisen aus dem Morgenland". Respekt! Das ist noch viel feinsinniger, ja hinterlistiger und gemeiner, als würden die beiden Ochs und Esel verkörpern.(1)

--------Endnotes-------
1. Streiflicht, Süddeutsche Zeitung. Freitag, 10. Dez. 2004. 1:1.

Christmas Wishlist!

2004-12-10T14:01:00.000+01:00

I've been playing around with the del.icio.us service, and I used it to publish my Christmas ~~demands~~ wishlist.

Enjoy shopping for me!

Addendum

2004-12-09T13:03:00.000+01:00

Check out the eyebrows on Mr. Uranium Salesman!

Props to Megawatt.

Inexplicable German-ness

2004-12-09T11:14:00.000+01:00

Why, God, Why??
The Second Frost happened last night.(1) As before, the clouds burned off by 9.00, leaving a cloudless, brilliant air and a bright, nearly blinding sun. But it's still cold as shit. I know I'm not supposed to be griping about the weather, but my gloves are kaputt, and I was forced to ride my bike to school, due to my lazing about in bed this morning. Here's the equation:

Freezing Cold + Metal Bicycle + Lack of Protective Clothing = Human Sterilization

It is now 11.19, and my outside thermometer says it is 3ºC, which means it's either 0ºC or 6ºC. Either way, I'm glad that my apartment has in-floor heating.

Don't Try This at Your House, Kids -- Go to a Neighbor's, Instead
More things that are very German, yet inexplicable:

Bob Ross
OK. He's not German, but they love him over here. Why? I don't know! I'll give prizes to anyone who can give me a reasonable explanation for this. His television show is broadcast here untranslated, which is something. He's name seems to be used, at least among university students, as short-hand for American drug use tendencies.

Volksmusik
This stuff...should be...banned? shot? At least, Germany, please refrain from making more music videos of this crap. Please! Please?
Imagine John Denver in concert, backed up by an Oom-pah Band, except the musicians can sometimes make Hair Bands seem subdued, and they are standing (with insturments) on the tops of otherwise perfectly good mountains. This is a waste of lots of things, not the first of which is money.(2)

The Following Christmas Songs
- Exhibit A: Winter Wonderland by the Eurythmics
  Absolutely unacceptable. Completely uncalled for. I wish I could erase it from my memory.(3) I blame this song's airtime (on morning radio, no less!) on some late-night bender by the programming committee. My message to Antenne Bayern:
  THAT WAS NOT FUNNY. DO NOT DO THAT AGAIN.
- Exhibit B: The Christmas Trucking Song by ???
  Also relatively frightening. Jingle Bells, except with something resembling the lyrics to (We've Got a Great Big) Convoy crudely stapled to it. There was even a children's choir backing up the chorus. Shudder.
Das Blaue Couch
This is a good thing! An interview snippet on Bayern1 Radio (4), in which the guest plays a short word-association game with the host. Very clever, and the answers range from purile drivel to clever punnery. It's like those obnoxious email surveys your friends send you, except with famous and/or intriguing people.

--------Endnotes--------
1. The First Frost being the night before Thanksgiving.
2. Money would be quickly followed by time, film, and the food that I inevitably throw at the TV in disgust.
3. What erases memory? Alcohol! Luckily, beer is easily acquired in this country.
4. That's "Bayern Eins Radio."

The Stunning Concluding Paragraph

2004-12-08T13:42:00.000+01:00

This Conclusion Brought to You by Alan Gallay

If the Carolinians were a God-fearing people, it was an exclusive God that permitted them to smite not just their enemies but people they had never met. If they were a law-abiding people, they obeyed only those laws that suited them and then used the law to secure their place in power and the subjection of their social inferiors. If they were a civil people, it was a civility of convenience. (1)

Read it for yourself.

-------Endnote-------
1. Gallay, Alan. The Indian Slave Trade: The Rise of the English Empire in the American South, 1670-1717. (New Haven: Yale University Press, 2002), 357.

Keep your perineum on!

2004-12-06T13:39:00.000+01:00

A man was seen flailing senselessly at the Internet

My internet connection is one the way to being restored, a charming and beautiful woman has offered me a TV, and I cleaned my apartment last week. Of course, all of this really means nothing to anyone else, but there it is. If you were wondering why I didn't get in contact with you last week, one of these things is probably the reason.

Mimi Smartypants, who has the smartest pair of trousers in Cyberspace, had a nice post which emphasizes the difference between blogging and online diaries. I'll decline the thesis offer, but it's neat to be in the middle of this still-emerging (?) form. There does seem to be a self-sustaining discussion about the rules and purposes of blogging. Leading figures? Dave Weiner, to whom I broach no link, and my own favorite, the ever-idle Maciej. Five points to him, and to myself, for odd and somewhat-surreal "defining the medium through the medium" posts!

You Broke It!!

2004-12-03T14:07:00.000+01:00

Or, rather, I did.

My internet connection, that is.

Somehow, sweeping the dust out of my room shorted out my cable modem. Now my tiny little apartment is just that much smaller, with no Internet connection to the outside world. Really, this is a good thing (except for not being about to download web-series and watch the Daily Show), for it means that I will now focus on doing the reading that I should have done a long time ago.

So, for the time being, all communication will now take place over the phone! Exciting! It's like 1987 all over again! (I'm really glad that I bought that 5m. cable for my telephone - it seemed like a silly thing at the time, but now . . . .)

If you're trying to get in contact with me, I'll only be checking my email on Mo./Mi./Fri. for the time being. Email blog@unquote.ath.cx if you desperately (1) need some other way of contacting me, and I'll get you some digits.

In the meantime, take this chance to read Mimis Smartypants (who is much funnier than I) or catch up in the archives. Did you miss these "classics"?

Snow Falling in Flurries
I misinterpret a word and have an unintentionally hilarious conversation about a fish
In which I hear a Grandious Organ Concert and Mock the Political Intentions of Veg-etables

----------End Notes----------
1. You're not really that desperate, though, are you?

How To Be a Spy, Part I

2004-11-27T15:47:00.000+01:00

In today's Spy Lesson, we'll be learning how to dampen an S.T.R.-Elektronik HT2003 Intercom's AC Buzzer to an acceptable volume level.

If you, like the Spy Master, like sleeping, and you, again like the SM, hate people waking you up with obnoxious bells, use this handy tip to increase your Spy-sleep by 30%. That means 30% more rest for nocturnal spying activities!

"Eunuchize" your HT2003's AC Buzzer

Identify Unit
The HT2003 intercom system is made by S.T.R.-Electronik. The Spy Master's Learning Unit is a brown, two-piece intercom with the following basic parts:
- the intercom base, attached to wall, with two buttons:
  - a 'key' button on the left,
  - and a 'red block' button on the right
- a telephone-like receiver, attached via a curly telephone-like cord

Open Unit
Remove the receiver and let it down to the floor. This will open the circuit to the main board, so this might cause unexpected problems, such as blocking other people's calls. However, since most of your spy-activities will occur late at night, this shouldn't be too much of a problem. Just be aware that if you shock yourself and scream out in pain, passersby in the street may hear it over the loudspeaker and your cover will be blown. (1)

Pry off the outer cover of the unit by inserting a screwdriver in the upper-right and upper-left hand corners and depressing the internal plastic hooks holding the cover on. Remove the faceplate by pulling down from the top -- the bottom hooks will disengage automatically this way.

Find the AC Buzzer inside
Here's a schematic, which will show you what you're looking at now. You want to find the AC Buzzer, which is a drum with a metal plate connected to it. The metal plate will overhang the front or top of the drum, which it collides with, making that buzzing noise. That's the thing you need to dampen.

The AC Buzzer might be labeled "AC12V." It will have two pronged-foot contacts on the bottom and one feeder wire running to each foot. If you remove the whole panel from the wall (via the corner screws), you'll see that you can remove the AC Buzzer by unscrewing the securing screw on the reverse of the wall plate.

Eunuch-ize
Three methods are acceptable. The first is the most drastic and will render the device impotent. The second solution is to dampen the sound. The third solution is replacement.
- Kill the circuit by either:
  1. removing one or both of the feeder wires. Insulate contacts with electrical tap and then fasten them separately to the back of the plate. Cautious spies try to avoid breaking anything they don't have to.
  2. removing the AC Buzzer. Unscrew the fastening screw on the back of the wall plate and disconnect the contacts. Pack-Rat and Klepto spies will keep the AC Buzzer around for later use.
  3. or cutting the wires. This is the Bad-Ass spy thing to do, as it involves wire-cutters and that oh-so-cool "click" of the wire being neutered. Very bad-ass, indeed.
- Dampen the AC Buzzer with a bobby pin (or a paper clip). Run the bobby pin across the contact plate on the AC Buzzer, so that the bobby pin lies flat against the drum, but also has one arm in front of the plate, as well. This will prevent the plate from bouncing up and down and "clacking." The plate will move a little, and you should get a distinct, but quiet, buzzing noise from now on.
- Replace the buzzer with something else. This is the Prankster spy's favorite way to go. The AC Buzzer works off of a 12-volt line, so be sure to put another 12-volt noisemaker in there.

Reconstruction
Put the whole thing back together. A good spy always has a lookout on the street to test the newly neutered buzzer. Wipe down everything to make sure you leave no fingerprints. Hop into your spy-helicopter on the roof, and get the heck outta dodge.

Mission accomplished. Good work, cadet. Take the rest of the day off.

---------Endnote---------
1. Everybody knows real spies don't cry out in pain.

The Cheat is Not Dead

2004-11-27T13:24:00.000+01:00

I'm so glad the Cheat is not dead.

More Wondeful Things

Megawatt already got onto the Wall of Sham (see right, below), but this post was worth a direct link. Bonus Point: A friend of mine is from Ingolstadt, and this was news to him, too.

From a different time:

[Abolitionist James] Forten told [newspaper editor William Lloyd] Garrison that the paper had quickly "roused up a Spirit in our Young People, that had been slumbering for years, and we shall produce writers able to vindicate our cause." (1)

Not soldiers -- writers. Beautiful!

I was baking pies (2) from last Friday until this past Wednesday night. It was great. In the process, I turned my lappytop into a convenient Jukebox in the kitchen, where I proceeded to blare Nina Simone's croonings all over the building. Damn good stuff, that. She's beautiful and fiesty; her two-disc anthology is well worth the money. (Also available via iTunes Music Store, for those of you Apple- and iPod-enabled.)

Hans (3) told me a joke last night that was pretty funny, even though I didn't get it at first:

Präsident Bush sagte zu einer ABC-Journalistin, dass Iraq viele Massenvernichtungswaffen gehabt habe. Sie fragte ihn, warum er das noch glaubte, wann keine Vernichtungswaffen gefunden wurden, und die meisten der Welt glaubte, dass Saddam solche Waffen nicht hat bauen wollen, oder zu mindestens hat er nicht bauen können?

Der Präsident sagte bloß, "Wir haben doch unsere Quittung gefunden."

Har har! Suck on that, Rummy! (4)

I must say:

Ladies, you made Thanksgiving one of the best I've ever had. Truly impressive, massive efforts were involved, and I was surprised at how comfortably and warmly everything was pulled off. Much love to you all, and thanks for your hard work. It truly made Bamberg feel like the South Carolina that we all love, if only for one day.

-----------Endnotes---------
1. "The Liberator and the Shaping of African American Tradition, 1829-1832" from The Origins of African-American Literature, 1680-1865. Bruce, Dickson D., Jr., Ed. p. 194. Charlottesville: University of Virginia Press, 2001. Emphasis mine.
2. Pies, apple. Thank you very much for the recipe, Mom!
3. All (or at least most) of the names printed here are changed to protect both the innocent and the really, really, really guilty.
4. I might get invaded if Rummy ever reads that. Let's be glad I don't google too highly. If you've translated it, but it still doesn't make sense, read this.

And for the record, he was finished well before he started screaming bloody murder . . . .

2004-11-21T22:55:00.000+01:00

"[Howard] Dean [is] best known for one of the most stunning political meltdowns of all time, transforming himself from persumptive nomineee to red-faced man-banshee in a matter of minutes." (1)

I now rely on The Daily Show to provide all my English-language, American news.

------------Endnote----------
1. Helms, Ed. The Daily Show with John Stewart. "Helms - The Democrats' Political Bind." http://www.comedycentral.com/tv_shows/thedailyshowwithjonstewart/. Nov. 21, 2004: (original air date unknown). Emphasis mine.

Scr(e)am

2004-11-17T13:25:00.000+01:00

I thought that I would take a break from my long-winded anti-Empire propaganda for a minute and applaud a truly great American institution.

Go NASA! I love you guys. You take all the fun of being a 14-year-old boy interested in blowing sh*t up, and make it Science. That is undeniably awesome.

Congrat's on a successful flight. This is also undeniably awesome. I would hope for continued funding for stuff like this, but the Moon will be fun, too, once we get there. (Keep an eye out for these guys, though -- they're bad news up in that 'hood.)

Anyway, as far as cool toys go, I'd like to build my own Scramjet. If I ever got rich, I'd play with this kind of stuff, too.

For more cool physics, chemistry, politics, humor, and other internet-y crap (all in a language you don't know!), check out Megawatt. (Don't be afraid of the Fetishism.)

Politics on Three Continents

2004-11-13T13:38:00.000+01:00

Bush, Blair Unconvincing, Repeating Catch-Phrases

Neither one said anything interesting in yeseterday's press conference. Of course, that's not surprising, but here's a quick recount of their press conference:

A two state solution

nothing

Democratic States

exciting

Recognizing Mr. Arafat's failure to control violence among his people or to initiate helpful peace proposals, I use the word "legitimate" based on his victory in January 1996 by a strong majority of votes in an election monitored by the Carter Center and approved by the occupying Israelis. -- Jimmy Carter

Blair went so far as to say that the new elections to be held in 60 days would be the "first marker" for democracy in Palestine. Where were these guys in 1996? Of course, the real point of all this bluster was to put some pressure on Mahmoud Abbas: by casting the deceased (and therefore, helpless) Arafat as the Barricade to Peace (2), Abbas is going to be flushed out of the bushes to meet with Israel. Let the arm-twisting begin!

Triumphalism!

NATO-Expansion
The Democratic revolutions in Eastern Europe (1990's)
Germany, post-WWII
Japan, post-WWII
Afghanistan (4)

Somalia
Darfur
Rwanda
Germany, post-WWI
The British Invasion of the Middle East, post-WWI
(Nuclear) Pakistan
(Nuclear) North Korea

Foreign Policy Thoughts

not

peace process

I think it is fair to say that I believe we've got a great chance to establish a Palestinian state, and I intend to use the next four years to spend the capital of the United States on such a state.

(...)

There is no other way to have a lasting peace, in my judgment, unless we all work to help develop the institutions necessary for a state to emerge: a civil society based upon justice, free speech, free elections, the right for people to express themselves freely.

The first step of that is going to be the election of a new president. And my fervent hope is that new president embraces the notion of a democratic state.

I hate to put artificial time frames on things. Unfortunately, I've got one on my existence as president. It's not artificial; it's actually real.

And I'd like to see it done in four years. I think it is possible. I think it is possible.

Bush Doctrine Corollary

[W]hen I was first a member of Parliament . . . there was a view in foreign policy that you dealt with countries on the basis of whatever attitude they had toward you, that really whatever they did within their own countries that was up to them and didn't really make a difference to your long-term relationship.

(...)

There is not [international] stability of any true, long-term kind without democratic rights for free people to decide their government.

CNN Screws Up

CNN.com and CNN International were both reporting last night that Bush had set a 4 year time table for a Palestinian state, which, as you can see above, simply is not true.

This problem has been getting on my nerves for some time now, and I think I'm going to rant about it.

CNN, and other 24/7 news "outlets" (just plug in your toaster! YAY! News toast!) seem to have a tendency to jump on a story before all the facts are in. Why? Well, the primary reason is the general desire to break the story. That may be all well and good in a newspaper environment, where the cycle of news is 24 hours long, and the first chance to break a story comes at 5 a.m., but in a 24/7 news cycle with four or five major competitors, the pressure to put out a story as quickly as possible will lead to corner-cutting.

The first things to go by the wayside are fact-checking, independent confirmation, and editorial review. Obviously, in a breaking news story, not all the facts are going to be known immediately. That's forgiveable, to a point. However, as the coverage of Arafat's death points out, double-checking information is also being left out of the process. Thus we get days of reversals: he's dead, he's not dead; he's in a coma, he's awake; he'll be taken off of life support, he'll remain on life support. (5) In the end, it seemed like news outlets were being led around by Sula Arafat's obfuscations. CNNI, I believe, was more susceptible to this because of the added pressure to "get it live, as it happens."

Personally, I'd be much more satisfied with accurate "dead" news.

Maybe Ying xiong Isn't so Slavish After All

I saw this movie a couple months ago, but it just popped into my conciousness again this morning.

One of the criticisms that I've repeatedly heard leveled at the film is that the director, Yimou Zhang, gave up his criticism of the Peking government for a fawning picture about the "glorious" unificiation of China. After some reflection, I think this may be a little too harsh.

It seems that he got in some sharp barbs that may not be so obvious. Take the clamoring voice of King of Qin's Court, for instance. Nothing could represent the lock-step of the Politburo's policies better than the singular voice of the court accolytes. Their screaming insistence that the Nameless be executed could just as easily be the mindless destruction of the Glorious Revolution, which crushed so much of the independent spirit of the Chinese people. It's especially poignant that the King and Nameless have reached some measure of understanding and empathy with each other's plights; the King's decision to kill his "kindred spirit" could be Mao's betrayal of his people with the Revolution's edicts.

Furthermore, the overall plot of this film, which is razor thin to begin with, really rests on the "unbeatable" sword skill of Nameless. This is just silly. It's such a cartoonish and childish conceit, that it is remarkable in its ridiculousness. Add to that the rather obvious color-theory which permeates the cinematography, and you get a film which is almost screaming "take me only at face value!" And if we do take this film at face value, we miss the fact that Nameless is the Hero.

He is not the martyr killed in the King of Qin's quest for hegemony. Rather, he is the self-sacrificing Everyman who recognizes the power of the King's goal and is willing to die to help the King realize it. Broken Sword and Flying Snow are anachronisms, literally left to die in the desert of broken kingdoms.

Yimou is obviously a supporter of the Unified China he portrays, but he's no friend of it's government. The clue is in how he portrays power in the film. The King's Court is little more than a chorus of self-interested vengence, enacting a punishment that the King himself is obviously pained to declare. The very manifestation of Qin's power is in its arrows, those vast walls of death. But how is it used? In an attack on the "greatest" calligraphy school, a center of learning, knowledge, reason, and peace; in the assassination of Nameless, who is a proponent of the King's own vision. These are brutal misuses of power that he is portraying -- it seems to be the cannibalism of a culture for the consolidation of power.

Think Falun-gong. Think Glorious Revolution. Think political prisoners. Think Beijing 2008.

I think this film needs a bit more credit than it's been getting.

------------Endnotes-----------
1. The clip of this Blair interview was broadcast on CNN International last night, but I cannot seem to find the original. The interviewer was dark-haired, female, and I'm pretty sure she worked for the BBC, but I wouldn't bet the farm. If anybody can find a transcript, I'd appreciate it.
2. Speaking of Barricades to Peace (from Ha'aretz)...
3. Can you say "martial law?"
The security measures, which plunge the country into a state of martial law not seen since the U.S.-led coalition authorities handed power to an interim Iraqi government on June 28, will give authorities the power to arrest and detain people without trial and also impose night-time curfews in "specific hotspots,'' Daoud said. (Emphasis mine.)
4. OK, so maybe Afghanistan's just a work in progress, but that doesn't mean it's not too early to declare is a stunning success, right? Right? Guys, you there? Hello....?
5. I'm not suggesting that CNNI was the only outlet falling for this stuff -- even the French didn't have a clue what was going on.

[Ed: Originally published w/o title. Title added at 14:33 NET.]

More on Electioneering

2004-11-10T13:22:00.000+01:00

Dave Pentecost (weblog) ostensibly worked with Michael Moore's ominously low-key Video the Vote program.

Pentecost was in Ohio monitoring a polling station in a black neighborhood. He posted a reaction to his experience last Wednesday. Here's the rather inconclusive footage that Pentecost is offering as a first glimpse. (Video clip in Quicktime format.)

I'm still sitting on the fence on this one. It's hard to tell exactly what is going on in most of the scenes, especially the ones with shadowy white men talking on cell phones. Overall, it seems like chaos is the main culprit for the screw-ups, although Pentecost also blames undertrained or careless poll workers. That chaos seems to stem from these unidentified "challengers" who are prowling around, but whether they could be identified and tied to any Republican organization is doubtful.

In the end, it seems like a brilliant tactic: mess with the voter rolls, but just a little; send in challengers to stir things up, but don't press too hard; send in another group of "challenge adjuncts", who are later thrown out. Each case causes just a bit of chaos, just a little confusion, and distracts from the voting proceedures just a tiny bit. Repeat in the entire state of Ohio....

If that's what we're really seeing here, then it's a form of voter intimidation that probably isn't even prosecutable under current law.

2004-11-09T20:35:00.000+01:00

This is the dumbest thing I've ever read. But that eye-strain chart is kinda sexy-looking....

*Sigh.* I have problems with advertisements that quote "research."

"Ambient Light Technology
Research has proven that proper viewing conditions enhance detail, color and contrast."

Emphasis mine, link.

Snow Falls in Flurries

2004-11-09T16:25:00.000+01:00

I woke up this morning to a drizzly, sleety rain. I was a little disappointed.

I went out clubbing last night and ended up walking home with some other students around 3 a.m. The air had been cold when I had set out on my way to the club earlier, but now, several hours later, the cold had become numbing. The air had become more humid, and we could see our breath clearly, even in the dark. Someone had mentioned that snow was forecast for the morning, and crossing the Löwenbrücke, I could believe it. The air smelled damp and sharp, as if Fall was about to be crystalized.

So the drizzle this morning disappointed me. The cold air outside my window convinced me to linger in bed much longer than I should have, and I had to hurry to bundle up before striking out for class.

Outside, however, the drizzle was coagulating into real snowflakes. As I walked through the Dom quarter, the flakes gathered mass. Over the roar of passing cars, I could hear them pelting my umbrella. The streets were wet, but the cold had not penetrated between the cobbles, and so the obvious danger of icy streets was not yet a problem.

During my class, I mostly ignored the professor droning on about various newspapers. Instead, I watched the sleet gather into a real snow flurry. The flakes grew and grew until they seemed to obliterate everything else in the window. As soon as possible, I re-wrapped and headed out into it.

The flakes were big, lumpy conglomerations -- the product of "warm" freezing. The drifted lazily through the streets, flung this way and that by the airstreams of trucks and pedestrians. The downward motion was gentle, unconcerned, and lugubrious. This was water in no hurry, water that was willing to let itself be pushed about, drift to and fro on somebody else's whim.

My umbrella offered no real challenge to the puffy debris. As I forged through the mess, the flakes curled under my strategically angled shield and lit on my clothing. So much for staying dry!

Bamberg did not seem to be concerned with the weather. Life went on as normal; cars filled the streets, even though they were occasionally covered by small snow drifts (if they had come from the south) or ice (if they had been parked for a while). Several shop owners, including one man who would not be scared away from his open-air vegetable stand, told me that they would stay open through the snow. It was coming down in earnest now, but still not collecting on the streets.

By the time I had finished procuring groceries and had returned to my apartment, the snow had reached a climax. The flakes were still big, but they were descending even faster than before. The wind had died down somewhat, and that left the snow to fall straight down, uninhibited. It was starting to collect on roofs and bridges, coating them with sugary powered. The cathedral looked a little like a gingerbread house from my kitchen window, albeit the most elaborate gingerbread construction in a thousand years.

Two Months is a Long Time to go Without...

2004-11-08T17:11:00.000+01:00

But never fear, for Germany provides everything you could want!

For instance, the brewery up the street.
For instance, the clubs.

The Deadliest Tango Always Involves Revolvers

Two Months. That's how long I've been outside the Empire. (Two months ago officially fell either last Friday or Wednesday, depending on whether you go by the Date or the Number of Weeks method.)

Progress Meter

German Proficiency: Level Up!
New Language Skills:
Rudimentary Frankish -- the ability to use "a weng" and "nett" in casual conversation
Café Communication -- the ability to understand the rude and hyper-efficient German waitresses
Newspaper Understanding -- the ability to stare blankly at newspapers for a while, then actually understand an article

Political Awareness: Level Up!
New Political Skills:
Enfranchisement Bonus -- Germans respect a politically active person
Political Awareness -- rudimentary understanding of current issues in German, Europe, and World
Political Opinions -- haltingly explained, often polarizing due to hilarious misunderstandings

Food: Level Up!
New Food Skills:
Eating Frankish Cuisine -- enjoyment maxed out; can't get any better than a nice, big Schnitzel (with side of Pommes)

Entertainment: Level Up!
New Entertainment Skills:
Clubbing -- knowing where to meet the locals is half the battle
TV -- watching the Simpsons in German is one thing, but understanding the words that are coming out of your TV is a whole other deal
Movies -- about the time you sit through the first movie where you understand the plot, the character's names, the setting, and 90-95% of all the dialogue, you know you've made it

So, in order to make the most out of my two months here, I'm going to let people cook me fajitas for dinner tonight. Then, I'm off to Morph to be obnoxious on the dance floor.

Anybody up for that Tango?

One Hungry America

2004-11-03T21:07:00.000+01:00

"Let's face it, there are two different Americas, two diametrically opposed set of values." -- from KRISTOF Responds, #654.

The Myth of the Polarized Empire

In truth, there are 300-plus-million Americas. That's a fact. For every person, be he a poster-boy, apple-cheeked class president; be she an illegal, dark-haired immigrant bent over a South Florida field of pepper plants; be they the illiterate, gun-toting offspring of poverty in inner-cities; be they the wealthy, priviledged sons of bankers, lawyers, and Senators; each of these people has a unique idea of what America is to them.

Each idea of America is a multi-layered conclusion based on the individual's background, experiences, prejudices, and desires. Everyone percieves political issues through a set of filters: news outlets, personal relationships, candidates' speeches, and local gossip. And just as the contents of a can of peaches are thoroughly processed, so too are these issues. They are strained through every person's Idea of America, sometimes slipping right through, now breaking the strainer, maybe getting caught in the mesh every once in a while. And just like a can of peaches, the quality on what comes out hinges on the quality of what went it.

The real Problem of american politics is that we don't have the right words to describe this process. "Democrat," "Republican;" "liberal," "conservative." These are all catch-alls. These are abstractions which obliterate crucial distinctions.

This is the "Great Divide." Washington warned us against a Party system, and now we see why. The Imperial two-party system swallows 300-plus-million opinions and sluices them, boils them, cures them, and serves up two at the table. The idea that we are a divided country is ludicrous. In fact, we are a starving country; these gourmandes don't provide us with a miracle of Political Loaves and Fishes. Instead, all we are left with is a watered-down broth of "consensus." Savory and nuanced positions become bland, bread-and-butter politics. Creative solutions are over-salted and served with Pork.

For me, America is the Empire. It is a land steeped in the blood of it's own native peoples, human chattel, the idealogues who emigrated, and those unfortunate souls caught up in events beyond their control. It is the Empire of economic opportunity, which despises poverty but treats it as anathema. It is the Empire of tolerance, where everybody has a right to their own way of life, regardless of how reckless that lifestyle may be. It is the Empire of brutal punishment, where the theft of packs of gum and candy bars can put a man in prison for the rest of his life. The Empire is home to some of the most beautiful natural wonders in the world; it is home to Indianapolis, a town so ugly that it should be scraped off the Earth. The Sun Belt and the Rust Belt. Raleigh Fingers, "Mr. October," Mark Maguire, and Sand Koufax. The Red Sox and the Yankees. Hockey in the north and high school football in the South. Portland, Oregon, and Roswell, New Mexico. Apple pie, grits, and soul food. An italian restaurant in Ohio; all the bad Chinese food in all the suburban malls, everywhere. Best Buy and the local music shop. Wal-mart. Microwave popcorn. Sunsets on the West Coast, sunrises on the East Coast, and the blistering sunny, summer afternoons in the mid-West.

Sum that paragraph up in one word. I fucking dare you.

Das amerikansiche Reich

2004-11-03T20:47:00.000+01:00

Kerry did the right thing. We could already see that he had lost early last night. It was clear long before Bush won Florida.

"If Everything is lost, then it is time to start looking around, checking under the sofa, and trying to find It again."

OTHER THINGS
Love Gore Vidal. But I was using the term "Empire," first.

SOME QUESTIONS THAT NEED ANSWERING
Voter intimidation: CNN says the election went "smoothly." In fact, they insisted that that was what was happening. Is this true? How many people were disenfranchised, and who was responsible?

[4 Nov., 2004, EDIT: Here is an editorial with what looks like the first information on possible voter fraud and/or disenfranchisements. It doesn't at all suggest that anyone was specifically targeting race, although it does imply that the worst problems were in minority districts.]

The Mandate: It looks like the Republican party won in a minor landslide. That would mean a mandate. However, if the Democrats were truly asleep at the wheel, does that mean the mandate stems from only half the country?

When will we be getting answers?

Certain Recent Events

2004-11-01T13:19:00.000+01:00

THERE IS NO REASON NOT TO VOTE

Goddammit, if you're reading this, chances are you're an Imperial. And if this is the case, you had better do or have done one of the following:
1) Vote tomorrow. No excuses.
2) Already have voted via absentee ballot/early voting/etc.

Need a reason? Sex.

It really does not matter to me who you vote for. Either way, the Empire is on the wax, and I have no particular faith in one candidate over the other to return the Empire to an even-handed foreign policy. Regardless, this is certainly the most contentious and dirty election cycle in recent memory, and that means you should go out to the polls and show support for something. Just for fun, pretend that you have an informed, self-reflective opinion.

In Other Rants

NB3 is no longer closed due to disease. Unfortunately, this means that the sign is gone, as well. So, no fun translation practice. Sorry kids; better luck next time.

So Long and Thanks for all the Profanity

Sorry about the above profanity, but I'm all riled up about tomorrow night. It's truly frightening. I'm all jittery with foreboding....

Thank God for This Alcohol which will be Provided [to] Us

Election night party in the Fernsehraum tomorrow night. Alcohol will either comfort us in defeat or lubricate the largest festival in recent TV-Room memory.

Projects of a (Blitheringly) Academic Nature

2004-10-31T11:39:00.000+01:00

But First...

The following things in my neighborhood are wonderful:

The Tooth Factory: I discovered this building on Friday afternoon, while walking home from classes. Considering that I have been living in this neighborhood for two months, I really have no excuse for being ignorant of this particular business.(1) The cool fall air was punctuated by the roar of buses, padding of pedestrians, and grinding whiiiiiir of technicians forming fake teeth in fake palates. It might be impossible to convey in words just how giddy I feel knowing that people are manufacturing dentures within spitting distance of my apartment, but for the visual component, just think of me sporting a big, goofy grin and fidgeting uncontrollably with childish excitement.

Fall Leaves in the Hain: I went up to the gorgeous little town of Coburg in early October, and the thing that most impressed me was the overwhelming Fall foliage. Bamberg is more than 1000 years young, which means that most of the trees in the town center were cleared out about 1000 years ago. Coburg, on the other hand, is still a young city -- young enough for the German Romantic movement, and an early environmental mentality (2), to have preserved large trees throughout the city. This means that Coburg is, relatively speaking, thickly forested. Three weeks ago, the leaves were already fantastic. Ten days ago, the leaves in the Hain picked up the pace. Now they, too, are decked in the fantastic yellows, reds, and oranges of Fall. The spectacular sight of a yellow tunnel of leaves slowly decaying, one falling shingle at a time, is an inspiring sight on a warm Sunday afternoon.

NB3 is Closed: I had no idea that this building was anything other than a private residence. In fact, I only found out about it last night, when some locals pointed it out. Located just over the bridge (again, mere footsteps from my apartment) is a swingers' club, known locally as NB3(3). Among longer-term residents, this building is mildly (in)famous. Even better, last night there was a hand-written sign over the buzzer which proclaimed that "NB3 is closed due to illness and will remain closed indefinitely."(4)

Ladies and Gentlemen, please turn your attention to the Center Ring, where you will see several clowns pack themselves into a ridiculously small lion.

I want to engage in the following academic projects. Input, suggestions on background material, and co-authors/co-conspirators are welcome to contact me via email.

Markets: Anthropological dynamics of a modern "traditional" market in Europe, with possible emphases on:
1. Transaction Dynamics (social/anthropological/economic)
2. Linguistics: Code-switching (regional "dialects" -> national standard "dialect" -> foreign languages), transaction terminology and semantics
3. Commodities: Point of origin, point of sale, transportation, price, (relative?/absolute?) consumption rates, other market dynamics

Economics: Socially-regulated market economics, emphasizing:
1. Market economics in limited/regulated markets
2. Social regulations and constraints on production and consumption (environmental/employment/human rights/etc.)
3. Risk management in industry and nations (maximizing service returns in risk-based industries by averaging potential liabilities across mega-subscriptions)
4. Socialization/regulation of human services to maximize service and reduce individual/catastrophic costs

Please email your input/help/offers of grant money.(4)

------------------------ End Notes --------------------------------
(1) Normally I come home from a different direction, but I had just taken the bus back from the Feki, and the convenient way home just happened to take me past the building, which would usually be on the other side of the street.
(2) This is the same early environmental consciousness that eventually lead to the establishment of Central Park. A generally upper-class (and more-than-a-little-condescending) opinion contended that exposure to nature helped ease the plight of the poor, who would be bettered (or at least pacified) by the "wholesome" and "nuturing" effects of trees, ponds, and big open meadows.
(3) Refers to the address. Not going to be more specific because:

Although it seems to be something of an open local secret, I am still not going to betray this tacit (yet, admittedly, somewhat silly) trust, and
I don't want You People prowling my neighborhood for sex clubs -- I have to live here, too.

(3) Rough translation from memory. I'll post the original at some time in the future, for comedy purposes. Email me if you simply must have an accurate original and/or translation.
(4) I haven't been getting feedback from this website. Does this mean that you, Gentle Reader, are not reading gently? Are You not writing, either gently or from deep, passionate wells of rage? Or are Your emails adrift somewhere cyberspace, unanswered?

The Cookbook of Confusion, The Cookbook of Schmeckens

2004-10-23T13:47:00.000+02:00

Recipe for Confusion

1 Cathedral
1 Organ
1 Musician
4 Composers, in chronological order
350 German tourists

The main cathedral in Bamberg runs a Saturday concert series of organists from around Europe. Each week, they ship in a new organist from the Czech Republic, France, or Germany and put them to work cranking out the big, big sound of the großen Orgel. This week's offering was Birgitte Fruth, a church musician from Passau, who has been playing various organs around Germany since the early 1990s. Her concert was an interesting chronological tour of the last four centuries in popular church music, featuring Melchior Frank, Johann Sebastian Bach, César Frank, and the late Jean Langlais.

I was somewhat skeptical after the last organ concert I attended two weeks ago, in which I was forced to sit directly beneath the organ. This left me with the impression (which I presume to be false) that the organist was rather sloppy. The basso thundered too often, the treble trembled beneath it, and all that was left were the middle octaves, which do not carry much of the weight in organ music. The complex interplay of tumbling, high arpeggios and rumbling, earth-shaking, bouncy bass chords was lost.

In order to avoid a similarly disturbing organ trip (which I blame for my subsequent and sudden decision to leave town for a few days), I arrived early today and held down a seat directly across from the organ pipes. The organ itself is situated about two-thirds of the way up the main wall of the cathedral, almost exactly halfway along the length of the central aisle. Although I cannot comment on the acoustics of this decision, it seems that the location of the organ was at least as much a function of "Gee, where the hell are we going to put this thing?" engineering as anything else.

However, Fruth's playing was lively, light, and suprisingly jovial. Frank's Allemande und Galliarda was a poppy Renaissance throwback, complete with wonderful trilling chords and those characteristic, pseudo-Byzantine arpeggios. Bach's "Von Gott will ich nicht lassen" was a genuine toe-tapper, while his Praeludium und Fuge in C-Dur managed to range far and wide over the octaval possibilities of and organ. (What else would you expect from the guy who wrote Tocatta and Fuge?)

The real treat, however, was Frank's Prélude, Fuge et Variation in h-moll, an initially brooding piece that builds to a wonderful, bright conclusion. The Prelude was bright and crisp, but Fruth brought out some wonderfully shadowy tones, which carried her straight into the Fuge. Dragging some of those brooding, lingering low chords into the Variations, Fruth effectively bridged an otherwise radical shift in tone. I was delighted that she kept the volume of those chords low; where the bass had crashed a few weeks earlier, it now gently murmered discontent.

In the end, Fruth threw everything out the window and completely befuddled the crowd with 20th Century composer Jean Langlais's Incantation pour un jour Saint. The subtitle on the program mutters something about a "Meditation über das 'Lumen Christi' und gregorianische Themen der Osternacht," but "Gregorian" seems to be far from the composer's intention. In a concert of mostly cheerful, energetic pieces, Incantation was a violent, iconoclastic mangling of chords. It sounded as if someone had let Revueltas rewrite a John Williams piece, filling it with clashing, inharmonious rumblings which break away to desperately high peaks of trilling, flutey notes that are continually overrun by the disharmonious bass octaves. The final chord, which lasted a full ninety seconds and contained just the barest hint of a salvation in the form of barely audible trills in the upper registers (1), left the audience appreciably stunned. The caucaphony over, the crowd sat in stunned silence for several seconds, wondering whether there was something more uplifting, energetic, and positive to come. It was only Furth's appearence above the keyboard that brought together the hands of the assembled.

The applause was polite. For her part, Furth seemed pleased at the confusion.

Recipe for Chicken

Chicken Breasts smothered in mushrooms, onions, and bleu cheese, served with zucchini and rice (pilaf or risotto)

I made this up yesterday while out shopping.

Cook the chicken breasts with olive oil and chopped garlic. (Always chop the garlic! Do not get lazy and press it -- your taste buds will thank you, afterwards.) Use a medium heat, which helps keep the garlic from burning until the chicken is done.

While chicken is cooking through, chop onion(s), mushrooms, and zucchini. Separate the zucchini, as they have Marxist tendencies and will try to overthrow you and establish a Vegetable Brotherhood hegemony over your kitchen.

When the chicken has cooked all the way through, but is still tender, transfer it to a baking dish (which you might want to have greased). Generously dole out the bleu cheese over the chicken breasts. Get the oven fired up to about 150ºC (let's call it 325ºF).

Boil some water for the rice.

In the chicken pan, which should still have some browned chicken bits, garlic, and olive oil (if you have to, add a little more oil, but not too much!) toss the onions and mushrooms together. Do not leave them in for more than a couple of minutes; if you let them cook too long, they'll get all mushy in the oven. Once they have a bit of oil on them and the onion has just started to pale, transfer the whole mess (including garlic) to the baking dish, over the chicken, which should be politely wearing the bleu cheese.

Put the dish in the over for the next 15-25 minutes. Keep an eye on it!

By now, the rice should be going along nicely.

In the chicken pan, add a little more olive oil and sauté the zucchini, which by now probably has fairly low morale and is ready for consumption. Season to taste -- a little black pepper and salt goes a long way.

In the oven, you should be able to see the mushrooms and onions baking and the cheese melting. Real bleu cheese gets gooey at room temperature, so do not expect to see that nice, thick cordon bleu which you get at cheap restaurants. (They, and I will not name names, usually use a swiss and/or a cheddar or emmanthaler cheese to get that thick cheese-hat on your chicken.) Instead, real bleu cheese will get runny and start to simmer in the bottom of the baking dish.

When the chicken juices, olive oil, cheese, and vegetable drippings are mingling in a friendly fashion, take the chicken out of the oven. Now you can do one of two things:
1) Serve it up. Delicious!
OR
2) Take the chicken and vegetables out of the dish, put the rice into the drippings, and maybe mix in some parmeseano or feta cheese. Bake for 10-15 minutes, until you have a firm, yet pliable, risotto.

Serve the chicken, mushroom, and onion mixture over/alongside the rice/risotto and zucchini.

Additional suggestions:

Variation: Add some (not a lot!) of slightly watered-down cream of mushroom soup to the baking pan while cooking the chicken. (Careful -- this might overpower the vegetables.)

Seasoning: Flavor the chicken during initial whitening with dill and coriander, or maybe ginger and mustard for a more raucus flavor; alternatively, toss some rosemary and some quartered Yukon gold potatoes in with the chicken while baking.

Wine: I always prefer red, but any very dry wine would be acceptable.

(1) In fact, I am still wondering whether I heard those notes at all. I may have imagined them as a way of forcing a positive resolution on this otherwise overwhelmingly gloomy piece.

Pearl Harbor Sinks Amazon.com, Crowds Cheer

2004-10-22T13:32:00.000+02:00

For no real reason, I was thinking about Pearl Harbor over breakfast, and it occured to me that the more oft-cited rationales for the Japanese attacks does not really make sense.

If the History Channel teaches us anything (which it probably doesn't), it's that World War II was the high point of Imperial History, that Roosevelt was the last really Great President, and that rocket documentaries are both a) cool as hell, and b) easy to replay time-and-time-again. But Pearl Harbor, specifically, is one of the most discussed topics, as determined by my non-scientific Random Channel Surfing Survey.

So, the explanation behind the surpise attack goes like this--
1) Japan invades China.
2) US embargoes Japan.
3) Japan remembers that it needs Oil to continue the Manchurian invasion.
4) Japan decides to keep America, its main oil supplier, neutral by destroying the Pacific Fleet.

This Brilliant Idea seems to be two-pronged: a) an America without the Pacific Fleet would be unable to face Japan militarily and would be forced to negotiate diplomatically; and b) after the initial attack, the American government would be willing to cede the Pacific Rim, Munich Agreement-style.

So, this Brilliant Idea was a military bullying tactic. Stimmt.

Was stimmt nicht, is that America does not tolerate bullying tactics, as the Japanese found out. So, does this mean that the Japanese military command was overly impressed with their own successes and military prowess? Did they underestimate Roosevelt's intention/willingness to engage in both the European and Pacific theaters?(1) Did they overestimate their first-strike tactical advantage? Or did they just get the American psychology wrong?

This last point is what I find most interesting, but I have no resources on Japanese psychology available. Could it be that the Japanese are more likely to back down from bullies? Do bullying tactics play a more prominent role in decision-making in Japan? And how does that play out, sociologically?

I seem to remember something about peer-pressuring tactics in Alex Kerr's Dogs and Demons: Tales from the Dark Side of Modern Japan, but I cannot seem to drudge up anything specific from my own memory. Are there any other sources out there that reference this psychologically, especially anything that might have a Japan-Empire comparitive analysis? If you know of or find something, please email me (blog@unquote.ath.cx).

BOOK LINKS ALL POINT TO AMAZON
My link above does, too. I hate that. But I have yet to find an alternative that does the following things:
1) Give detailed publishing information
2) Offer reviews, excerpts, and commentaries
3) Gives visuals (cover, table of contents, pictures, etc.)
4) Lets User order the book
5) Offers a guarantee on the quality of the book's printing

Sigh. Amazon does one thing well. I'm willing to admit that, but I'm still not publishing a wish-list.

(1) Roosevelt had been steering the country towards conflict with Germany since the Munich Conference by using the Merchant Marines as trans-Atlantic arms transports. This made them military targets, according to the Germans. Roosevelt's thinking was that eventually, enough attacks on what he described as "neutral" vessels would force Congress to engage Europe.

Link Fest

2004-10-18T18:42:00.000+02:00

I read this want ad, and then I laughed.

I saw this exhibition this weekend.

This city calls itself "the Heart of Europe." I refer to it as "Europe's Nads."
(Stay tuned to find out why!)

The Rules; Bending the Rules

2004-10-14T13:07:00.000+02:00

The Rules

I've taken an as-yet unwritten pledge never to do certain annoying, weepy, web-bloggy-type things on this page. (In the list below, examples of offending behavior are provided.) For instance, I will not:

1) Get too "personal" -- If this were a diary, you'd all love to read about how many time I went to the bathroom, what I had for lunch, and where I found that penny. But this isn't (a diary) and you don't (give a shit).
2) Foster petty disputes -- If I want to have an argument, I'll confront the subject/object face-to-face. Sleep well, meine Feinden! for I will never lambast you over this public forum (unless I can milk some humor out of it).
3) Post non-text -- This is a wishy-washy rule, but I prefer to keep graphics off the site as much as possible because:
a: The layout is designed for text, not pictures.
b: This is an Idea Blog, not a Photo Blog (note the horrible load-time!), and a blog of ideas is best served by written statements.
c: My egalitarian principles encourage me to make this blog available to anybody, assuming they have the time, willingness, and proficiency to read it. It's annoying enough to me that non-internet users do not have access, and I'm trying to keep the bar as low as possible. That's why I only display two posts at a time (subject to change, of course) and why I write long-ish posts (if you're going to read it, why not read a complete thought?). Text can display on Web browsers the world over, regardless of computer platform; furthermore, text is cheap and fast. If you really enjoy reading this website on your Palm, cellphone, or (God forbid!) your Blackberry, then go to it! No pictures will stand in your tiny, cramped, eight-line, 65,000-color screen! (1)

Bending The Rules

One of the coolest pictures I've ever been a part of is posted here. On Wednesday, our class was demoralized by the crippling Grammatik Prüfung required by the Uni. So, as a treat, our second-class Dozentin took us to her favorite café nearby, where we sat and chatted. It was nothing new for us, since we've been getting to know each other for the last three weeks, but I think she was really looking forward to talking to us in an informal setting. It was actually a lot more fun than I had expected, and I really enjoyed talking to her outside of the classroom.

Although I don't agree with how she handled the class, she turned out to be a wonderfully thoughtful, observant, and witty person. I find that it's always hard to dislike people when I talk to them face-to-face, and I think that this was a good object lesson in not "judging books."

Anyway, the picture (2) is fascinating for other reasons entirely. Check out the national rainbow we managed to assemble! (We were many, and the table was small, so there are two separate photos.)

A: (small - 13k) (medium - 41k) (large - 122k)
Poland, Italy, Finland, the Empire, Germany, France, and Hungary
B: (small - 11k) (medium - 37k) (large - 113k)
Italy, Hungary, Poland, Portugal, Spain, Scotland, England, and Finland

So, OK, I guess this is one of those times where the Picture brings out the Idea....

(1) I got rid of the Blogshares image at the bottom of the page; I thought it was a little decadent.
(2) Special Thank You to M. for taking and emailing the photos -- good idea!
Danke Schön M., dass du diese Photos geschoßen und die uns geschickt hast -- tolle Idee!

Whiny Political Tract

2004-10-11T00:00:00.000+02:00

In my last post, I linked to a friend who called me "exasperatingly liberal." I'd spent the whole week mulling over the Imperial energy policies (woohoo! Let's all take a break from homework to think!), and I put this whole rant aside for a few days to reconsider.

I still believe most of what is here, but I'm not as angry and determined about it as I was last week. I think that it's more interesting in an unedited form (these are basically notes I made for myself), and, after all, I'm trying to achieve some level of deeper interaction with you, Gentle Reader, so here it is.

And for the record, I had this idea before I read Thomas Friedman's column, but I pretty much agree with him.

Here's what I'd like to see from the upcoming Presidential Domestic Debate:
An economic policy which shifts the Imperial economy away from fossil fuels and towards renewable sources of energy, effective immediately.

A Step-By-Step Guide to Reducing Oil Dependence

1) Adjust Demand: Ronnie says "Supply Side"

Cut off demand for oil at the consumer level by increasing the price per gallon to unreasonable rates, and make sure that they stay that way for a long time. First, enact a higher Federal Gas Tax. Second, force the States to enact minimum additional charges as a percentage of the Federal Gas Tax; let them spend most of this money at their discretion.

Second, increase the price per gallon by restricting supply. Boycott oil from Saudi Arabia, Iran (which we already are), and other countries which disagree with our policies. This is not really such a bad idea: it's a great way to try to pry some human rights reforms out of notoriously negligent governments. Make the human rights trade penalties cumulative and compounding. (Maybe begin with import ratios and tariffs, then work up to full economic disengagement.) Set uncomfortably optimistic goals and hope for real change. Let the U.N., W.T.O., and W.H.O. arbitrate disputes over whether these targets have been achieved.

The point is to drive the price of gasoline and other fossil fuels up. When they stop being cost-effective, fossil fuels will be abandoned wholesale. The trick is balance: do not go too slowly, or else the economy will adjust to a higher nominal energy rate; but do not rush, either, or else the economy could stall out with unknowable consequences.

2) Invent Alternatives: Give Peas a Chance

Spend all this new revenue on developing alternative fuel sources. This would probably be pretty obvious, but it may be trickier than we can imagine. It would be critical to ensure that the Gas Tax revenues and tariffs did not end up in the General Fund, but that they are instead used exclusively to promote energy alternatives and enforce energy policy.

Attack the problem of an alternative energy economy from both the public and private sectors. Hand out cash hand-over-fist to anyone doing research on this issue (and don't forget the Humanities -- understanding the economics and sociology of the economy change will be at least as important as having it happen quickly). Get the Imperial labs to hack out the basic science: what sources are the most practical, give the best yield, etc. Then throw the ball to the private sector to make the technology affordable and efficient. Set high standards on efficiency, pollution, and cost and make sure that goals are met. (It's important that the new technology be greener, cheaper, and more readily available than the old.)

In the process, do not shortchange research options. The government should retain the rights to all technologies until a public implementation has become commonplace, when the technology (or technologies) must enter the public domain. This allows market competition to progress at an accelerated pace and will prevent energy monopolies from controlling a new energy economy. (On the other hand, once economic changeover has been completed, it is vital that companies be given the opportunity to maintain their own proprietary patents -- otherwise, production and quality will stall.)

3) Adoption: Twins from China

With the money left over from the Gasoline Funds (if there is any) goes to subsidizing the new Alternative Energy Economy. Money goes to public transportation systems making the energy switch, citizens who want to convert their homes and cars, and small companies to convert their infrastructure. Pay for half of all fuel-station conversions, if necessary.

Moreover, make this technology available to the rest of the world.(1)

The purpose of a quick adoption policy would be to get the Imperial economy back on track as quickly as possible, obviously. However, a potential side effect could be the a resurgence in Imperial manufacturing and technology preeminence. After all, we could let China develop the technology first, but then they would get all the licensing fees, wouldn't they?

4) The Trade-Offs: Cataclysmic Economic Events and You

The possibilities for collapse in this idea are numerous. First, the Federal government has never had this much control over the American economy at any time in history. This process would create a temporary government monopoly in the energy sector, something that is certainly a political liability. Furthermore, Congress does not have the necessary independence to unilaterally destroy the current energy systems -- the energy lobby would quash it in committee, long before the plan came to a vote.

Secondly, a disruption in the process would leave the Empire without any Energy Economy, with potentially disastrous, unknowable consequences. During the adjustment period, transportation systems, public services, and even government could possibly be disrupted. Certainly, the initial squeeze on oil prices would drive the airline industry to the brink of bankruptcy (again), and would likely destroy the airline industry as we know it today. Tourism, goods transport, and other service industries would likely be severely hit, although the long-term gains from cheap, renewable energy would probably offset any short-term losses (over 10 years, or so).

Finally, if this Shock Treatment did not work, left a bizarre hodge-podge of proprietary, incompatible systems which prevented consumers from traveling, using simple appliances, it would result in a total collapse. Although this is the accepted status quo of the computer industry (different, incompatible standards, various levels of adoption, and a cost which prices the poor out of ownership), energy would definitely prove to be more basic and much more consequential.

5) The Benefits

An environmentally friendly, socially equitable, cheap, readily available, and globally available energy source would change the world in ways we cannot imagine, but here are some quick points:
a) World Politics -- the end of OPEC; the fall of the Oil Kingdoms of the Middle East, and possibly a subsequent détente between Israel and the Arab world;
b) World Economics -- egalitarian pricing would ensure expansion of energy-dependent services in the Third World, including health care and transportation;
c) Imperial Politics -- a substantial boost in the power of environmentalists, with the possibility of a major coalition of "Green" candidates within one or both parties;
d) Information Technology -- internet, TV, and telephone access to billions of people around the world; the internet would triple in content and usage (assuming equal access by the 2 billion people who live in "wired" countries today);

Over the short term, an alternative economy would allow the Empire to withdraw from the Middle East. This would go a long way towards paving the way for a more moderate Arab world. Over the short term, the current Oil Kingdoms would be replaced by radical regimes, but as oil supply diminished, governments there would be forced to modernize and diversify their economies, which would bring about moderation in the long run. The ultimate goal would be a renunciation of terrorism and the adoption of human rights in even the most conservative areas of the world. The catch is that no government would have no choice: if a renewable energy technology was available, the people of every country would demand access to it.

A) Caveat: Abandon Iraq

And do it tomorrow. Better yet, do it yesterday. Iraq is a monetary sinkhole that will bankrupt the Empire if not controlled. The best position in the short term is to abandon the situation because:
I) If an insurgent government controls oil production, either a) we will refuse to buy oil from them, or b) they will refuse to sell us oil. Either way, it will have a positive influence on oil prices.
II) Spending money on troop movement is wasting it. In the long haul, Imperial troops will probably not be able to enforce a peaceful resolution to the Iraq crisis, anyway. That money could be better spent resolving the energy problem, which would eventually achieve the same goal, but with much fewer Imperial casualties.

So, do I expect this idea to be taken seriously? Not really. And I'm proposing it as more of a thought experiment than anything else. But it's interesting to see the pro's and con's: cheaper fuel, an Imperial withdrawal from Iraq, and a massive Imperial economic resurgence vs. a definite economic disruption, massive civilian casualties in the short run (in Iraq), and another century of Imperial dominance over the economies of the rest of the world. . .

(1) This is very, very important. It is one thing to convert the Imperial Energy Economy, but it would be another thing to totally change the way the global uses energy. Imagine an electrified Sudan, or a Colombia in which clean fuels brought TVs into every village, or a Middle East with air conditioning in every home. . .

I Felt Bad, But Not Bad Enough To Write A Real Post

2004-10-10T23:27:00.000+02:00

(I've spent the last week working on homework, so I haven't had time to update recently. Just read the motto -- it says it all.)

B. (who's real name is so cool, I can't even type it without freakin' out!) linked me, and I really liked it. And while she's awesome, I haven't returned the favor, yet. Here. Done. Awesome!

And if you think I'm, "exasperatingly liberal", too, then email me.

Website updates, so all you RSS-Feeders can go back to whatever you were doing...

2004-10-03T13:33:00.000+02:00

Some minor site updates. Juggled the sidebar, updated the statistics, and moved the Archive links to their rightful place (AND STAY DOWN!).

Annoyance: I can't seem to curtail the list of previous posts at the upper-right hand corner. I hope Blogger.com will let me hack that variable eventually, but right now x=10, x≠!(10), and if you don't like it, then Blogger.com will Patiently Ignore the Bejesus out of you. Sorry to those of you who have to look at that list of previously visited links.

Of course, the easy solution would be to update more often. . . .

And the traditional: I hate HTML.

Anecdotally Evidenced

2004-10-01T17:27:00.000+02:00

I get a good deal of time to myself here. One of the benefits of this is that I get to sit around watching other people, which is pretty much what any good anthropology student should do. (That's right, I said "good anthropology student" in reference to myself -- talent, real-life experience, and grades be damned! Note also that I did not use the more obvious terms "stalker," "sociopath," and "that weirdo who stares at people.")

Anyway, this inevitably leads to strange conversations with interesting/homeless people, and/or the occasional anecdote:

I was waiting in the market for something (anything) to happen. It was overcast, drizzling, early morning, and a Wednesday. Various people (young and old, but mostly old) were shuffling through the market looking for foodstuffs to buy.

The market is located in a fairly narrow street, and the stalls compete with the delivery trucks of the storefronts. Often, smaller cars will throw caution, prudence, and reason to the wind and proceed down this "road," often in the hopes of delivering something to one or another stores. And, if the Gods of Hilarity are with you, a delivery truck will sometimes show up, stirring the Proverbial Turd.

And so the Gods of Hilarity smiled down on me and granted me just this situation: narrow, crowded street, reduced visibility, and elderly shoppers.

A car pulled up and parked uncomfortably close to the bench I was sitting on. I was considering moving until I noticed the delivery truck coming up the street to deliver a Big Stinky Pile of Fish to the local Nordsee.(1) I knew better than to try to get around that thing, which was delicately maneuvering between a car and a fruit stand. He was a precise and careful driver, certainly, but he did not have much space to work with in this case. Even so, he drove around the car, and he began creeping down the street toward me.

But now (now!) he's in a bind. The car parked uncomfortably close to me is now in the way. He must drive around it in order to delivery the Big Stinky Pile, but is there enough room? A pause. . . .
But there is enough room after all, and we'll just have to drive very carefully, he says to himself.(2) And everything goes smoothly for about one-half of one second.

Then he comes to a stop, precariously close to both the stall and the car. In his path is a little old woman, calmly picking up grapes and carrots, and comparing them. Possibly, she has determined that the carrot and the grape are different items, and probably she can distinguish between the purple fruit and the orange root.(3) However, her investigation is apparently stalled, and she does not seem to be going anywhere. The driver is annoyed, but there is nothing to be done.

Then, the woman slowly turns to him. This diminuitive Rentnerin(4), who is impeding Commerce, Consumption, Progress, and the Big Stinky Pile of Fish (which is, after all, getting Stinkier by the minute), looks up into the cab of the delivery truck. Then, in a calm and polite tone, she tells him that, "I'll only be another few minutes. Please wait."(5) And then she flashes a quirky smile at him, and goes back to studying her vegetable and her fruit in the rain, which has picked up in intensity and is lightly pelting everything.

This just makes me wonder how many little women there are out there who are willing to block traffic to interrogate and examine perfectly obvious produce. Where have these people been hiding? What did they do before delivery trucks; did they block carts? And how would history have been different if they had, for instance, all been having a conference near Tianamen Square in 1989? They could have used this kind of help.

(1) How cool is it that there's a fast-food restaurant that only sells fish sandwiches?!?! Cool enough to deserve its own song.
(2) Except, it goes more like Ich soll langsam zwischen dieses Auto und die Obst fahren.
(3) Say it out loud. Go on, we'll all shut our ears.
(4) Übstz.: female pensioner; (lit) retired woman
(5) Except, it goes more like Es dauert nur ein paar Minuten. Bitte schöne!

Italian Food and Nazi Reviews

2004-09-23T10:35:00.000+02:00

An Italian student just moved into the apartment next door. Normally, I could accept this without comment, but this is an exceptional circumstance.

It's not a nationality thing, I swear. However, I've taken a little pride in being the most intense cook in the kitchen for the last few weeks. Not the most successful, mind you; maintaining focus is altogether different from producing quality. Instead, I've been the most dedicated. Regularly, I engage in questionable cooking endeavors simply because I'm intrigued by the process. I spend entire evenings slaving over a hot stove to produce strange dishes that no one will consume. I'm collecting recipes, experimenting, and gnoshing, all because I can.

But now there's this Italian neighbor of mine, who effortlessly trumps me at the stove. (It's one thing to recieve a Silver Medal, but it's another thing to come in second place by such a wide margin.) The way she controls three simmering pots, while putting away groceries and carrying on multi-lingual conversations, totally blows me out of the water. Like all Italians (horribly stereotypical statement ahead!), she must have been born with a spatula clenched in her hand. Clearly, I'm still cooking in the Pony Leagues.

"Der Untergang" is a snuff flick forty-years overdue. All the suspense would seem to be whisked away, given that at the beginning of the film you see Adolf Hitler as a defeated, cornered Führer, desperately seeking refuge in his underground bunker. It's no secret that he's going to die; even he knows it.

That is not to say that "Der Untergang" lacks any credibility or forces unnecessary twists in an otherwise see-through plot. (After all, even if there are only seven different movie plots, this one has to better documented than most others[1].) Partially due to this plot issue(2), the German media has focused closely on the Bruno Ganz's characterization of Hitler as a tirade-prone, passionate (in the bad sense), and stooped leader who at times seems wholly removed from reality. It certainly represents a departure from the belligerent, stubborn Hitler of American cinema who stands tall in the face of his enemies(3). Ganz's Hitler has been completely demolished by three years of military setbacks. What is left to him is the timeless, nightmare-like last days he spends underground, surrounded by his generals.

Give credit to the screenwriters, then, for making the gruesome sidenotes of this event into relevant and suspenseful plot points. (Catastrophe, often inflicted by the husband, visited several families of high officials shortly before the Russians captured the last sectors of Berlin.)

Instead of a disjunction with the screen, however, the audience is pulled right into the (admittedly slow-paced) action. We travel through the winding corridors of the bunker, with long trailing shots following actors through doors. The even flourescent lighting casts no shadows, and the varying lights of night and day are surprising, almost shocking, when the actors venture out.

Moreover, there is very little fighting. The facts of war, as if taking a cue from Ganz's early outbursts, spend the majority of the movie brooding far away from the central actors. Instead, the end stages of the war play out exactly as Hitler himself would have seen them: battle lines on maps, each line contracting, the maps becoming progressively smaller in scale, choking the last hopes of a doomed leader.

(1) See anything ever written by Stephen Ambrose. And if you want something more interesting than a Greatest Generation rehash of America's heroic defeat of (all forms of?) facism (everywhere?), skip Ambrose and read Bis zur letzten Stunden, by Traudl Junge and Melissa Müller, instead.
(2) But mostly because Germans are prickly when it comes to the post-Weimar period. Making a talking piece of the actor instead of the role turns the whole problem inside out. Suddenly, the story is about a modern person engaged in an art form, rather than a ruthless, xenophobic facist that everyone would rather forget.
(3)Or the alternative: the unportrayed Hitler. A rhetorical Villain, this Hitler is the butt of the GI's curses, a distant finishing line for a war that seems to stretch forward into an indefinite future. This is the Hitler who is on the end of every boastful GI's rifle. ("If I could get one shot at him, this whole war would be over."[1])

Are you registered?

2004-09-20T22:06:00.000+02:00

Time's running out. Get registered today. Then go and vote. (Because that's the really important part!)

Jotted Notes

2004-09-20T21:37:00.000+02:00

It's hard to live without some things these days.

Most of us would be lost without electricity ("You mean I can't watch The Simpsons?"). Pretty much everybody I know would be pretty upset without some sort of home to go to. For me, it has been difficult to live without a phone.

Strike that. ~~For me, it has been difficult to live without a phone.~~ It's been difficult for people to get in contact with me without one. And that was put in sharp focus today by this email from some friends of mine:

--Email--
Subject: WE HATE YOU!
We waited outside your building all day and could not find you. We wanted you to hang out with us but you are no longer wanted. Just Kidding! Check your mailbox b/c we left you a note. We will meet you in front of the Star Back at 12:00 tomorrow. If you don't come don't bother ever talking to us again.
--Email--

I have to say, this email shook me to the core. I will never again be so callous as to ignore those that seek me by sitting outside a building all day! Never again will I ignore the restless pleas of those seeking grog! And I won't be late tomorrow!

I think they are hooking up my phone on Friday (but, then again, she could have been saying something about a "cheese-party with stuffed mussels and white wine;"(1) my head has been elsewhere today...).

A note for later: E. and I saw "Der Untergang" today, which is causing big waves in the German press right now (not least because the Rechts Radikal NPD won a big victory in state elections in Brandenburg and Sachsen). I'll post a full piece on it when I decide what I think about it.

(1) Which begs the question, who serves stuffed mussels at a cheese-party? I'm going to have to consult the recipe book on this one.(2)
(2) Apropos cooking, we all need to sponsor this fledgling idea for a TV show (scroll down to the bottom).

Alles ist fertig

2004-09-17T13:02:00.000+02:00

I've now done all the important stuff on my checklist:

My Checklist

~~Go to Germany~~
~~Figure out customs, language~~

~~Find food~~
~~Find beer~~
Find more food & beer

~~Enter financial marketplace~~
~~Verify insurance~~
~~Find living accommodations~~
~~Get visa~~
Chill

Party
~~Relax~~
~~Hang out~~
~~Zapp~~
etc.

I picked up my residence permit this morning, which validates my privilege to live here in Bamberg during the next 12 months, if and only if I remain enrolled at the Otto-Friedrick-Universität Bamberg. Those restrictions seems fair to me, considering I only had to pay 40€ for this privilege. (After all, I didn't come here to practice my cooking skills upstairs. . . .)

Now, I need to start thinking of this place as "home," if only for a few months. I am an invited dinner guest at the Big German Culture Table. That means that the people around me come from cultures different from mine, but we are integrated into the same culture now, if only partially. That's an insane concept, but the tafelwine is good, so I'll keep my mouth shut.

2004-09-15T10:57:00.000+02:00

The following music has made an impression on me in the last few days.

1) "Amerika", Amerika Rammstein (lyrics)
The lyrics pretty much say it all. This is a profoundly angry song by a group known in Germany for being controversial. (In the same sitting last night, someone showed me the music videos for both Amerika and another song the group wrote in response to the German Cannibal.) The music video features, among other things, a Sikh smoking Lucky Strikes, an Indian child eating a Burger King hamburger, Iranian protesters, and a group of East Africans in traditional garb eating a pizza in front of a TV. The harshest line is probably the last chorus:

We're all living in Amerika,
Amerika ist wunderbar,(1)
We're all living in Amerika,
Coca-cola, and sometimes War.

This is definitely a song that will remain outside the Empire's cultural mainstream. That's disappointing, since it would be such a great campaign ad for Kerry.

2) "Radio", Greatest Hits Robbie Williams (lyrics) (stream: Windows Media/Real)
This song debuted the morning I landed, but the interesting thing about it isn't that it's new. Rather, this song was a total departure from the Robbie Williams I was familiar with.

That Williams was the one who recorded Swing When You're Winning, a big-band, ballad, and swing album released in 2001. Among the songs which originally brought him to my attention were "Have You Met Miss Jones?"(2) and "Beyond The Sea"(3), both heavily orchestrated, over the top, brassy songs. So, imagine my surprise to find this "jazz" singer breaking out the funky beats in an edgy, paranoid pop song.

The story was filled in for my by a friend who explained that Williams was originally a member of a pre N'Sync boy band. After that band, Williams started a solo career that could only be encompassed with the word "eclectic." After a pop album or two (including Sing When You're Winning), he broke out with Swing. And now, he's back with some dark pop music, which cries out for remixing. That should teach us all a valuable lesson about stereotyping.

Don't look for Williams on the Empire's pop radio stations -- I'm betting this song is too much for pop radio there; wait until the remixes hit the club floors in a few weeks.

3) Mensch, Herbert Grönemeyer
I don't understand much of what he's saying, but I like the way he says it. Check out "Viertel Vor" and "Unbewoht."

4) Neuvo, Kronos Quartet
The Kronos Quartet has worked closely with some of the most inventive and interesting modern composers. In Neuvo, the Quartet has assembled a sampler of the top Mexican composers, from Revueltas to Briseño. The rythms are alternately haunting and jaunty. If the first half the album laments the suffering of the peasent's life, then the other half a celebration of the overwhelming power of joyful music. This is album should serve as an introduction to emotive composition for any music student. Check out "El Llorar," "Perfidia," "Sensemaya" (unfortunately, not the entire Night of the Maya suite), and "12/12."

5) Garden State Soundtrack, Various Artists
Combine Coldplay, Thievery Corporation, and Frou Frou and I wouldn't listen. Put Zero 7, the Shins, Nick Drake, and Iron & Wine (who?) on the same album, and it's fascinating.

The movie reminded me of Harold & Maude, which also had a simple plot, but elegant in both dialogue and image. This album borrows from that film's calm instrumentation (~~Nick Drake~~ Cat Stevens did the entire soundtrack for Harold & Maude) with Simon & Garfunkle's "The Only Living Boy in New York," Iron & Wine's "Such Great Heights," and "New Slang" from The Shins.

It's a remarkable thing to find a Thievery Corporation song that would complement such a placid acoustic lineup. In fact, "Lebanese Blonde" wouldn't have been my first choice. But serve up the industrial duo between Colin Hay's "I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You" and Zero 7's "In the Waiting Line," and I'm tapping my toe non-stop.

(1) Trans: "America is wonderful"
(2) If you can't find this song, get your hands on the soundtrack for the film Bridgette Jones' Diary.
(3) If you can't find this song, go rent Finding Nemo. There's no excuse for missing this film anyway. The song plays over the closing credits, which would be fun, even without the music.

Ed: 20. Feb., 2005 -- Cat Stevens, rather than Nick Drake. Doh! I knew that....

Baby, it's cold outside!

2004-09-12T21:16:00.000+02:00

Today, the temperature dropped about ten degrees from where it was yesterday. This means that I spent most of the day tucked safely indoors. (A drop of ten degrees Fahrenheit ain't nothing; we're talking Celsius, baby!)

Anyway, I think this means that my summer has officially come to an end. If we check with the timekeeper, we can see that this is the longest summer on record: 7 May to 11 Sept. According to my rudimentary finger-math, thats a total of 128 days. Now that's something to celebrate!

Speaking of celebrations, there's a new housemate here in town from Boston. She's got a Fulbright to teach at a Gymnasium (reads: High School) just up the hill. Even more interesting, she was in a Fulbright seminar series last week, where she was partnered with a friend of mine from high school, who has a Fulbright to teach English in Thüringen (16), the Bundesland to the north of Bayern (Bavaria, 2). If anybody has a calculator handy, maybe you could work out what the probability of that is.

In any case, the world seems to be a small place.

And just like all small places in the universe, this place got freaking cold! I was shivering over my cappucino this afternoon, while the Guy Sitting Next To Me explained the difference between the American and German music notation structures. (Apparently, Germans use an H instead of a B, except when they call it a B, too . . . go figure.) Even those patches of sunshine one can usually find along the river were completely overwhelmed by the wind that ripped down the Regnitz at random and aggressive intervals. It's time to get a coat.

Milestones (Meilsteinen)

2004-09-10T21:44:00.000+02:00

Although there are some of you out there reading this, the real purpose is to provide some sort of record for myself of my progress here.

Update #1: München+7
I was able to hold up one end of a dinner conversation. Not a terrific achievement to the objective viewer, but definitely One Small Step for Williamkind. Even more of a proud moment because of my recent frustrations with comprehension. W00t!

Back up and running

2004-09-09T16:22:00.000+02:00

Although I've had internet access since the day I moved in, iChat just wasn't working. I finally figured out why when I tried to access my private email server and I started getting packet bounces. I guess Kabel Duetschland (my breitband internet provider) limits certain outgoing ports (apparently anything other than 80, 110, and 443 or whatever IMAP4 uses). AIM uses some screwy port up in the early 5000's (5190, for those of you playing along at home).

Luckily for me, somebody set up a listener for the AIM protocol on port 80. Now I'm back online, ready to iChat.

If you don't see me online, but you think you should, email me your name and SN.

*sigh*

This is going to ruin my German....

Obsession

2004-09-06T10:50:00.000+02:00

Obsessing is something of a pastime for my family. We have always been great obsessors. "To each own" for birds, bees, flora, and My Relatives. My dear grandmother has long been noted for being totally consumed by thoughts, concerns, and even anxieties over the gathering, preparation, and/or consumption of meals. Other family members have at times developed fixations on one or more of the following items:

a) pets and/or pet care,
b) possible paint colors for various rooms,
c) National Public Radio,
d) computers and/or electronics,
e) the bathroom habits of relatives,
f) the bathroom habits of pets/wildlife,
g) general hygiene (human/animal),
h) rodents/any member of Lagomorphae,
i) the existing roof/floor/wall(s) and/or window(s) of any given room,
j) tacos,
k) etc.

With this understanding of my (circle one of the following, given current public bias) genetic makeup/early childhood environment, it should surprise no one that I occasionally fixate. I certainly can pick out my share of foibles from the list above; however, I rarely find my individual obsessions so ridiculous as the one I resolved today. Allow me to add it to the list:

l) bedding (Bettwäsche, for those of you playing at home).

As ridiculous as it is, it was a remarkably easy fixation to quell. I just happened to pop over to the Local Wal-Mart* this morning, and as I was browsing down the aisle between Big Glass and Stone Things and Fast-Moving Metal Objects, I happened to notice a store that sold bedding. It seemed remarkable, for I had been pricing personal items not two days earlier, in preparation for settling into some sort of material routine. "Remarkable," says I, "and, furthermore," thought I, "I should return to this place, perhaps to engage in some bed-related purchasing activities."

So, when I was bounced out of Deutsche Bank for not having an appointment (doh! -- and the lack of a phone number did not impress the teller, either), I returned to the shop to stand helplessly by while the shopkeepers buzzed about helping customers who seemed very clear about what they needed. I, on the other hand, have never dressed a German bed before, and I was not clear about the proper linens and such. I could only stare at the Bettwäsche for several minutes, pondering whether I needed a set of Kissentuche and Komforttuche? Did I also need a Spanbetttuch? Which Kisse goes with this set? And how big is my bed?

As I found out, giving a precise answer to the last question could be avoided by informing the clerk that "I am a student" and that, furthermore, "I live in a student Livinghouse." (For best results, imitate these phrases with a robot-like monotony in tone.)

However belligerently ignorant I appeared, the clerk was very helpful and gracious, taking my crudely assembled sentence-fragments and organizing them into a color-coordinated, summer-winter combination of items that were both comfortable and benignly priced. The best way to permanently cure an obsession is to throw too much money at it. Usually this results in a strong case of buyer's remorse, and a predisposition to avoid all purchases in a similar vein in the future. In this case, I got away with a minimal investment in both time (20 minutes of my day) and money (a mere ~~E 88.90~~ 88,90€ -- an absolute bargain, according to my unscientific comparison shopping).

-------------------------------------------------------
*The Local Wal-Mart is, in fact, Langestraße -- the local shopping street, replete with small retail establishments, cafés, and a pub or two (or five).